Fordo's Introspection

Art Festival

2010-09-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

I went to the Castle Rock Art Festival with Chris yesterday, Sunday. It was warm. This time last year it was rainy and kinda cold.

I didn't find anything I was particularly interested in except some boulder opal necklaces by a couple with a shop in Manitou Springs. As always, I like to go totally through a show, before I make a decision on some purchases. What if I find something I like better? Chris bought several photos and prints to frame for her house. I bought a wallet for my dad and went back for the necklace at the end of the show.

A boulder opal in 14k gold, it was pretty. It was priced at $190, but they indicated they would sell it to me for $150. It also was not a standard shape. Sadly, they did not accept plastic, and I did not have my checkbook with me. When I inquired if they took credit cards, the man shook his head and said "check, cash or IOU." I thought he was kidding. I commented to the woman that I had returned to buy the necklace, but I did not have my checkbook with me. She also said they accepted "cash check, or IOU." I just stared at her and blinked. I finally said, "that's awfully trusting of you." They both explained that they had been accepting IOUs for the whole show and so far they have received checks from everyone.

I'm still astounded. I didn't think anyone did that anymore unless they knew the person. Wow.

So, I'm off to find a chain for my purchase. Then I've got to find an envelope and stamp. I have a check to put in the mail today.

Heater

2010-09-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

The heater was installed on Friday. It took all day. I ostensibly worked from home that day, but I will admit that was not as easy as I thought. Other than doing 3 hours worth of conference calls, it was a little distracting.

I had originally planned to interview 8 or so different heating and cooling companies, but after talking to the third such company, I was happy to choose them. (a) they knew about more rebates I was eligible for than I did, (b)their quote was lower than the previous two companies I talked to, (c) they recommended a very good brand of furnace, (d) they were well rated on Angie's list, and finally (e) they talked to me a lot.

I plan to finish my basement. Because I got a high efficiency furnace, new vent pipes had to be installed through the wall of my house. The pipes would have to run along the joists of my basement ceiling before exiting the house. Code mandates the pipes have an angle of declination of 1/4 inch for every foot of pipe. As a result of all this I wanted to make sure the pipes exited my house in a good place and did not interfere with my window well, or window egress. Because the basement will be finished and the pipes have to gradually angle down to my furnace, I wanted to make sure they did not interfere with the finished ceiling or the walls.

The owner of the company walked outside with me and we looked at all options for the exit. We also measured in the basement and talked about various options. He never once pulled the "I have X number of years of experience" card. He just answered my questions. When he went outside to write up my quote, he did leave a notebook with letters of recommendations and documentation about his years of experience, but he never used that as a reason for why he didn't have to explain exactly what he was going to do. He also offered to send his chief installer over to do a mock up of the pipes in the basement- a suggestion I happily accepted.

So the heater was installed. Apparently I am eligible for the federal tax credit up to $1,500, a state rebate of $500, a utility company rebate of $120, and a city rebate of $120- all of which takes my high efficiency furnace cost down to the cost of a non-high efficiency furnace. Yeah!

The inspector comes tomorrow I think. Fingers crossed!

Well, I did it

2010-08-22T07:33:00.001-07:00

But it demonstrated how out of shape I am. I did the 50k ride (or 32 mile for Americans) in the Tour de Cure in Boulder yesterday. The American Diabetes Association sponsors the Tour de Cure. To ride, you have to raise a minimum of $200.

I went up there with two coworkers- Vivian and Staci. Staci ended up doing the 12 mile, or 20k. Vivian did the 32 mile, but she's quite a bit faster than I am.

To ride, you have the option of doing the 20k (12 mile), 50k (32 mile) 100k (62 mile, I think) or 100 mile. You also have the option of turning around at any time.

I must admit I was very impressed with how well run the ride was. The longer the distance, the earlier you started the ride. We started at 10 am. There were rest stations periodically where the sponsors had water, Gatorade, orange slices, cliff bars, porta potties, etc. I think there were 4 of them on my ride. After not eating anything at the first rest stop, I learned my lesson.

The rest stations were staffed by volunteers. They were very nice.

Since this was a ride sponsored by the ADA, all riders with diabetes were encouraged to wear provided red jerseys that indicated they were riding with diabetes. Anytime you passed a rider in one of those jerseys, other riders would cheer "Go red rider!"

All rest stops also provided blood sugar check stations. Pretty cool.

There were volunteers riding the routes on motorcycles checking on exhausted riders. There were also what were called SAG vans- they would pick riders up and take them back to the start if they were too pooped, sick, or injured to go further.

Local police officers and sheriff officers helped out with the race. They would stop traffic, allowing the cyclists to cross. Nice. There was not too much traffic we had to worry about.

At the conclusion of the ride, you got a medal, and the announcer announced who you were based on your ride number (these you pinned to your back). The race then provided riders with lunch which, included burritos, pasta, barbecue, etc.

By the half-way point on the ride, I was pretty tired. I did not hit my wall until we hit the hills after the half-way rest stop. I almost clobbered myself more than once when I could not get my feet cleats out of my pedals. I've gotten good at putting my foot in the pedals, but have a little bit of difficulty getting them off the pedals under normal circumstances.

So, I'm riding up a hill, my momentum slows, if you don't get your feet off your pedals, you'll fall over if you can't sustain your momentum to stay upright. So I'm tugging frantically at each foot by turn, trying to get at least one cleat out of a pedal. Luckily no mishaps, but I had at least 3 close calls.

After the first two such hills, I made sure to disengage one foot before I started up the hill. I am sure my ride up the hill was not as effective without having both feet in clipped in.

My cleats are now pretty thrashed. I don't know if its because of all the frantic tugging I did, or if its because of all the walking I did up the hills.

After the hills, the ride was pretty flat. I'd hit my wall several miles back and was pretty damn exhausted by this time. I think I must have stopped to rest at least twice during this stretch- I just stopped on the side of the road.

I reached the last rest stop, used the potty, drank some water and rested a bit. I hit my second wind and things went smoother for a little while. I only had 6 miles to go at this point. The road was flat.

When I was maybe 3 miles away from the end a thigh muscle by my patella cramped. I had to get off and walk to walk it out. I got back on and rode for awhile. Then both feet cramped when I was about a mile out. Once again, I had to get off and walk for a bit.

I finally finished about 2 pm. Wow.

Bicyclists are wonderfully friendly. They usually cheered for the red riders. They also encouraged each other. Any time I got off my bike to rest or walk, I had at least 6 riders asking if I was okay, or encouraging me with "we're almost there!" or "great job!" I must admit, I usually like being on the speaking end of those encouragements, not the receiving end, but I appreciated how truly nice everyone was.

I must have looked a sight by then. My lips were caking, even with lots of water, I was tired, I was hot, and in general I am fair-skinned so my skin gets splotchy.

Today, both arms are brown. I have a line at shoulder level where my shirt sleeve sat. Across from the brown sits white-white skin. The same thing sits at my wrist. Right at the bone on my wrist, my arm shows a striking demarcation of brown to white- clearly showing where my gloves were. I'm also a little sore and tired, but I'll live.

Time to get to work. I've still got some roots to dig up today.

Oh, and on the drive back, Vivian and I discussed Butt Balm. I think its true name is Chamois Balm, but the users call it Butt Balm. She assured me that its marvelous and works were as a crotch balm as well. Forgive me for bringing up such a delicate subject at the conclusion of this post, but you get a little chaffed and sore when riding for long distances.

Oven problems

2010-08-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

As I was posting my previous post, I experience a little meltdown . . . literally.

I turned on my oven to 400 deg to make some focaccia bread. As I was writing I smelled burning and came downstairs to the sight of smoke curling out of my oven. Shit!

When Chris's dogs came to visit for one night, she went around stashing all the food that was sitting on the counter. As I mentioned, her dogs tend to counter-surf. I guess at her house, the oven makes a good place to stash food since they have not figured out yet how to open the door. She told me what she was doing, but I guess I forgot.

I just cooked several tomatoes, some bread, some dried cherries, and some uncooked spaghetti. Bad Fordo. Bad, bad!

The oven is now in self cleaning mode, after I pulled out and tossed in the trash several items.

The odessy of heating

2010-08-17T17:26:00.000-07:00

This year I plan to replace by furnace, so I can take advantage of the federal tax credit, which says you can get back 30% of the cost of your furnace up to $1,500 as long as (a) its a high efficiency unit of 95% or more, (b) contains a two speed fan, and (c) you do it before 12/31/2010.

Since my house was built in 1978 and the furnace is original to the house, I figure a new furnace could improve my energy bills. There is also the chance it could go out at any time, or become a danger at any time, so I'd rather be in front of the curve than behind it.

So begins the request for bids. So far I've only had two bids. The first one was fine. If I pick them, I may need to clarify exactly where the new pipes go, but I can cross that bridge when I come to it. You see, when my house was built, code said a pipe had to take carbon monoxide away from the house. This pipe goes up through the roof. Another pipe also has to bring fresh air into the house, allowing the furnace (and hot water heater to burn). This part amuses me. The current pipe with incoming air looks precisely like a vent connect to your dryer. Only it hangs literally right next to the furnace and does not connect to anything inside the house. My house is not hermetically sealed. In fact, since it was built in the 70s, I'm sure my basement is somewhat drafty and there is no shortage of air. Go figure.

Now, with the high efficiency units, current code says you must have two 3 inch pvc pipes connect to the furnace- one takes the air out, one brings air in. They don't go through the roof either, but instead take the care across the ceiling of my basement and out through the wall. On exiting the house, they cannot be any closer than 3-4 feet to any window, lest you get poisoned by the same CO you are sending outside of the house. These pipes also must decrease in elevation from the point they exit the house, to their connection with the furnace by 1/4 inch per foot. I worry this will cut into my basement headroom since I want to refinish my basement starting next summer.

Anyway. That's the deal.

The first company was fine. They suggested exiting the pipes on the side of my house by my a/c fan and on the backyard side of my fence. I think they quoted me about $4,600.

The second guy was recommended by the husband of a good friend. He gave me roughly the same information until we came to the quote. When I asked him how much it would cost me, he said parts, labor, and permits would cost me $1,500. He would write me a receipt for $5,000 that I could submit for my tax credit and the whole thing would cost me nothing. WTF!!! I clarfied what he meant and then told him what he was proposing was illegal and unethical. He made quick tracks out the door. I am still astounded by that exchange. No wonder our country is in debt if idiots pull crap like that. Give the unethical nature of what he proposed, I can't help thinking I could lose my job or go to jail if I participated in such a scheme.

Anyway, a third company comes tonight and a fourth comes tomorrow.

Mold and friendship

2010-08-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

Back in June, my friend Chris was becoming concerned with water leaking into her guest bedroom after heavy rains. She called numerous people including her insurance carrier, the window people, a roofer or two, and a general contractor or two. Each one gave her a different opinion as to the cause of the water.

Chris lives in a town home. She has about 1000 square feet, a little tiny back yard, two bedrooms, and 1.5 bathrooms- just to give you an idea.

The roofing people were convinced it was the roof. One of the contractors thought it was the gutters. One thought it was the windows. One thought it was the roof. The window people (she had new windows installed 3 years ago) were absolutely certain it was not her windows.

Over three weeks ago, the contractor who works through her home owner's association convinced her it was the roof. His explanation did not make much sense, but I'm not a roofer.

The roofers found that 1/2 the house had two layers of shingles and 1/2 the house had one layer of shingles. Originally, she planned to only add a layer of shingles to half the house. Then it was decided she needed to add shingles to the whole house.

Because the roof or whatever had been leaking water into the house, Chris had black mold in her two bedrooms. After repairing the source of the leak, they would have to remove some of her sheet rock, re-sheet rock, and paint. Chris is sensitive to many chemicals and they make her sick so she would be unable to be in the house while these repairs were being done.

My parents had just left and I offered to Chris that she could stay at my house while the work on her house was done. It was only supposed to take about three days.

Chris has two Australian Shepherds. The female contracted giardia a number of years ago and ever since is perpetually sick with gastrointestinal problems. She was basically starving for awhile because everything made her sick. Allergy tests demonstrated she was allergic to a plethora of things in commercial dogs foods including corn, peas, wheat, beef, etc. She gets dreadfully sick if she is exposed to them. Once the ingredients were identified, Chris has managed to find dog food she can eat. Her coat now looks healthy and she is gradually moving to a health body weight. Trouble is, the bad behaviour she started when she was starving is still there. If the dogs were to come to my house, I would not be able to keep dry food down for my dogs, bones out for my dogs, or in fact any food out on the counter tops. Her dogs are not exactly well behaved and tend to help themselves to food they find on counter tops and tables. Luckily, she was able to take her dogs to another friend's house near Pueblo.

Anyway, Chris came to my house on Sunday night. Work was due to start on her house the next day.

The next day, a city engineer came out to the house before issuing a permit. He opined that the issue was not the roof, but merely the gutters. She had the wrong kind and they were not doing any good. Work did not begin for the next 3 or 4 days because the contractor had ordered the wrong material (for roof) instead of the stuff for gutters.

One day they did not start work because the contractor was sick. Then he got bit by a spider.

They got the materials for the outside, and started to rip into the walls. They found black mold which made the contractor sick from the mold. I recommended they hire a professional clean-up crew specializing in black mold, but no they decided he could do it, but needed special suits and equipment. Supposedly, they are spraying some mold inhibitor in the house. This took another day or two. Then they could not start because the clean-up crew leader's daughter died.

By now we are into the second week. Chris is visiting her house every day and seeing little to no work occur. Not unexpectedly, this is stressing her out considerably.

The first weekend after the work failed to start, Chris and I took a car trip through Canon City, Pueblo, and up to Westcliff/Silvercliff. It was a nice day. Westcliff/Silvercliff is a charming little town. If I could find an inexpensive home up there, I might consider buying a second house.

In Canon City we stopped at the winery for a wine tasting. I bought a couple of bottles including something called Divinity, an aperitif. Yummy! We then stopped at this little hole in the wall that sells local juices, preserves, salsas and the like. The we ate Mexican food. Yum! We also got to stop by and see her dogs. They seemed healthy and happy. The lady taking care of them has about 9 Aussies that she shows and breeds. It was a pleasant day and I'm sure took Chris' mind off her troubles.

Second week, as I indicated, little to no work was occurring. The insurance company finally accepted the claim, indicating they would pay for the damage, but not the cause (i.e. they would pay for interior repairs, but not gutters).

Contractor discovered black mold in the carpet of the two bedrooms, and on Chris' mattress and box springs. The insurance company has agreed to replace both. On Thursday, Chris ordered a new mattress and box springs, but asked them to wait to deliver until her house was completed and clean. On Friday, Chris picked out new carpet for the bedrooms.

Chris was expecting a friend to arrive from up north on Saturday (the end of the second week). She had requested time off and had been planning a car trip with her friend for some time. Friend arrived on Saturday by plane while I was in a class. Chris and friend took a car trip up to Aspen to visit another friend. They will maybe visit Palisades, come back through Westcliff/Silvercliff and have a nice relaxing week.

They expect to arrive back in Denver on Thursday or Friday, where they will likely be my house guests. I offered. Even if the work to her house is completed, it will have to be completely cleaned and disinfected. Furniture will need to be cleaned and moved back into the rooms. The new mattress and box springs will need to be delivered. Her rugs and clothes will need to be laundered and cleaned and put away. Even if the work is completed, she won't be able to start on it until she returns from her car trip.

I think it unlikely that Chris will be able to clean her house herself. It sounds like anyone who enters it, including Chris, begins to show symptoms from the mold. I would certainly get sick, although I may end up offering to help if I can find some fairly good masks. Won't be able to do that until Sunday- I have plans to ride 32 miles for the Tour de Cure on Saturday.

Chris' friend leaves Saturday, at the end of the third week.

So I am alone with my pups for most of this week. I have washed the sheets and towels, but still need to clean the guest bathroom and tidy up my office for use as another bedroom. Chris hopefully will let me know when they expect to arrive before they get here.

Life rolls on.

Summer times

2010-08-16T18:24:00.000-07:00

Its been an interesting summer thus far . . . and now its almost over. I have yet to do any hiking or camping or backbacking, and I'm not too sad about it. With the exception of little interludes of fun, most of my summer has been spent doing yard work. And I'm far from done.

My house was built in the 1970s. The plants that were planted in the neighborhood seem to run towards juniper and pyracantha- plans that grow fast and expand quickly. Trouble is, you have to constantly keep on top of their care, otherwise they grow out of control. Plants that grow quickly, are not necessarily great for the places they are planted.

I had 3 pyracanthas around my house. One is on the side of my house. When I first moved in, it was easily 20 foot tall and 30 foot across. Given that it was on the side of my 2-story house with no windows, I wasn't too fussed about it, other than it looked crappy. My mom and I have been working at it off and on for 3 years now. She finally has it trimmed into a fairly good semblance of a tree.

I have another one in a small, 4 foot-across bed in my backyard by the fence. When it was overgrown and bushy, it fairly took over my back patio, and also looked crappy. It has been trimmed in to a tree and now looks fairly decent.

My first couple of years here, my Mom and I took care in trimming the dumb things, because I wasn't ready to kill them. Turns out they are much more hardy than we gave them credit for.

The problem with pyracantha is that it grows fast, and is difficult to kill; it has 2inch thorns all over; and its rather bushy in its natural form. Mom is confident that if I keep trimming it into a tree, its efforts at putting forth new shoots into a bush will finally give up. I don't know if I believe it, but since I have lots of other things to do right now, its good that they are looking fairly decent while I delve into other matters.

Remember how big the one was on the side of the house? Well, I also had one in front of my front windows, by my front door. My front windows start about 3 foot off the ground, so having a bush with the capacity to grown 20 foot tall was definitely in an inappropriate place. It had to come out.

Last year, I trimmed it all the way back to the stump, but did not take the stump out. This summer, it grew back. A couple of weeks ago, I managed to take the main stump out. I had to dig down three feet, all the way around it (by hand!), and cut it with loppers and chain saw by turns.

I'm now working on two feeder stumps that came from the original. They are small, but it looks like they go down to the same depth.

Then there are the juniper. I have 4 of them. One rings the pyracantha at the side of the house, and three are in front. The major problem with juniper is that it only grows on the end of its branches. Once the needles die off, they never come back.

My neighbor tells the story of my predecessor ringing her doorbells at about 7 or 8 am on a Saturday morning. My neighbor's juniper was on my predecessor's property and she wanted it trimmed back. When my neighbor didn't get moving fast enough, my predecessor trimmed the bush back, exposing the major branches in the middle of the bush. The greenery on that side never came back. About 2 years ago, my neighbor finally used green spray paint on it, which made it look better.

Anyway, I have 4 of these. The one that ringed the big pyracantha, had basically died in the middle. When we trimmed the pyracantha back, the absence of greenery in the middle of the juniper was obvious. It needs to come out, but not right now.

In front of my front windows, that starts about 3 foot of the ground, I had a 4 foot juniper that did a yin and yang spooning thing with the pyracantha. Besides being too tall for the space, where the pyracantha had invaded the juniper's space, the juniper had died back and looked ugly. It also had to come out. I have it almost trimmed back to the stump and ready to be dug out, but first I have to get the accursed pyracantha out of the ground.

On either side of the pyracantha-juniper combination, there sits yet another juniper-this one only about 2 foot tall. The one on the left is filled with johnson grass- a weed that is difficult to get rid of since you can't reach its base. On the right, the 2-foot juniper sits in the corner between my driveway and the walkway that goes up to my front door. In an effort to keep the juniper off the concrete, it has to be trimmed back- this results in dead, brown branches all the way along. Both of these really need to come out as well, but that may be next summer's project.

Are you still reading? This is all I will tell you now. The landscaping will continue later . . . .

Still to come: silversmithing, Lily, a friends visit that has stretched from 3 days to 3 weeks, and a parental visit that resulted in lots of help to this humble abode. Oh, and lets not forget, work, new boss, and Health Care Reform.

Ghetto

2010-01-28T12:13:00.000-08:00

What is it with people’s use of the word “ghetto” these days? I live in a suburb of Denver called Aurora. I’d never heard the term in casual usage before I moved here, but its driving me a little batty. I find it highly offensive.

Dictionary.com defines ghetto as follows:

1. a section of a city, esp. a thickly populated slum area, inhabited predominantly by members of an ethnic or other minority group, often as a result of social or economic restrictions, pressures, or hardships.
2. (formerly, in most European countries) a section of a city in which all Jews were required to live.
3. a section predominantly inhabited by Jews.
4. any mode of living, working, etc., that results from stereotyping or biased treatment: job ghettos for women; ghettos for the elderly.

It started first with a coworker. When I met her, 3 years ago, she was uneducated and working as the department secretary. Her family was uneducated- lots of people in a small house. She referred to the apartments behind our office as “ghetto”. She called them scary.

The last reference I heard to “ghetto” was from a series of emails we are passing back and forth on my swim team. After the Saturday morning workout, people like to go out for breakfast. By email, people have been discussing where to relocate for breakfast. It has to be large enough to accommodate everyone, and preferably offer counter service, rather than wait staff.

Someone suggested a little bagel place about a mile away from me. Some people love it. Some people thought it wouldn’t be big enough. One woman thought it wasn’t clean enough. The last woman said it looked ghetto to her.

Sigh. Aurora is a pleasant neighborhood. It began in the mid-70s and has sprawled out to brand new homes. I bought a home in a neighborhood that was built around 1978. All sorts of people live throughout Aurora. It is not uncommon to see women dressed head-to-toe in veils shopping or walking. It’s a diverse area, but it’s certainly not dangerous or scary. Its clean and mostly well-cared for. Colfax in Denver or Van Buren in Phoenix certainly have a reputation for danger, low income and prostitution that my area does not have.

Aurora does have diversity, though. I’ve also heard it referred to as “Saudi Aurora”, another highly offensive term. I’m fairly certain these references are being slung about because of the color of resident’s skin, and the clothing people wear, not because of any crime.

Sigh. Idiots. I admonish people when I can, but I don’t know if it will ever do much good. Besides, if these white-bread people are scared of this area, wonder how they would feel about other, even more diverse areas?

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

2010-01-27T09:14:00.000-08:00

I heard this on the news this morning. Its one of the quips you always associate with leaders of companies or leaders of countries.

I find myself relating it to my little life, though. It can happen with children, parents, doctors, teachers, bosses, friends- anyone in fact who has the upper hand in a relationship.

I work in compliance. I've become more aware that my coworkers, and possibly myself, get used to having this power. We read the law, we interpret the law, we tell people what they can't do and what they have to do in our company. To a certain extent, we get used to having those pronouncements obeyed, unequivocably. In the business environment it might be appropriate, but it doesn't mean its always- well- nice. Its important that we sympathize with people in the things we are asking them to do.

I think its a bit of a frame of mind. I wonder if you get so used to people doing what you tell them to do, that the imperious attitude gets carried over to other parts of your life. You end up "telling" you husband what to do. You end up telling your coworker what they can't do in a conversation involving social life.

I'm babbling. I just find it interesting.

Clean floors

2010-01-23T17:43:00.000-08:00

Yea! Puppy has made no messes since the beginning of the gates. Happily, neither has anyone else. Got my carpets cleaned today by one of the Chem Dry companies. Damn! they do a good job. As grody as my carpets were, there is nary a sign of dirt, pea, poop, or diarrhea.

Gates are back up and I'm slowly returning my furniture to its place on the floor.

I'm thinking about (a) getting enough tile to tile my family room, since as long as I'm here in this house, the family room will be subject to dirt. I'm also (b) accepting bids for a back porch. My house has a patio, that in the winter is perpetually dirt, mud or snow. My back yard is in shade much of the day, so snow and ice and water is slow to disappear. The patio seems to be worse- maybe because the concrete retains a lower temperature than the ground. I've also had trouble with water draining from my patio- whether its because my patio is no longer level, a damn is caused by the grass at the edge, or something else- I have yet to determine.

I'm thinking a patio cover would be relatively simple. I have in mind what needs to happen, although I'm not quite up to the task. I'll need a city building permit. I'll need post holes dug at the outer edges for the two wood posts. They'll need to be sunk in concrete. The roof of the patio cover will need to be at a slant and covered with shingles to match my roof. My siding will need to be removed in small quantities to allow the porch roof to be attached to the house. Flashing will need to be included to make a good seal between the patio cover and the house. The siding will need to be replaced.

While I'm sure my dad could help me do it, my dad is 68 and is not as spry as he used to be. I'd rather he help/show me how to tile the areas I need to in my house: family room, kitchen, 3 bathrooms, laundry room, and the living room entry room across to the kitchen. Vinyl is just not as durable as tile, with 3 dogs with nails, and me with work high heels. Also would like to replace my 70's counter tops with marble tile, or something. If I'm here long enough, I also think my basement is worth doing. But I digress.

The porch, it can be left to someone else. If I can get a reasonable bid for 2-3k or less, I may just pay to get it done. Aside from the winter cover, it will also be nice to be able to use my patio in the rain.

It got cold today. Funny thing is, they've been having snow and cold weather in New Mexico. Arizona has been having record monsoon rains and snows. Last week we were at 60 on Saturday, in Colorado. Weird. Environmentalists believe that global warming will not merely warm the earth unilaterally, but instead will change global weather patterns. In CO, we are unseasonably warm. The dessert in CA, NM, and AZ is receiving lots of moisture. AZ and CA have actually been having to evacuate some towns.

When I say it got cold today, it wasn't really. It was in the 40s, but windy, so it felt yucky.

Haven't decided what to do tomorrow. Hiking or movie/gym/walking with pups might be on the agenda.

By the way- Avatar was very good. Pretty cool in 3-D. Saw it last weekend with Chris after a tasty Moroccan meal.

Confrontation

2010-01-22T23:14:00.000-08:00

I don't like to admit this, but I have a problem with confrontation. When confronted with a difficult person, I tend to meekly back-peddle and sometimes apologize when there is really nothing to apologize for. Maybe its a female thing.

I have found, in my professional career, that a simple, "I'm sorry" or "my apologies" will quickly diffuse many situations. However, I have also discovered, that with some people, an apology shifts the balance of power.

I have a coworker who I don't get along with very well. Why? I don't know precisely. A few weeks ago, I found out about an audit my coworker was coordinating with our corporate compliance office. As the Compliance Auditor of our company's state, this was always the kind of thing my director kept me informed of, but did not necessarily involve me in, so I could decide if I wanted to participate. Since our director left in November, I wanted to understand what I was missing and who I should contact about the audit. After looking through the information I had available on the corporate office's upcoming audits, I determined I knew nothing about it. I approached my coworker and asked her about it. She slammed her hands down on her desk, raised her voice to not-quite-a-shout and said something to the effect of "Fordo, I don't have time for this right now!" I calmly left her office (or meekly, depending on your viewpoint).

A few days later, I sent an email to our temporary Compliance Officer to ask if he was able to find out anything about it. He apparently knew nothing and forwarded the email to my coworker. Her response, in email was, "As I told Fordo,. . . " As you now know, she told me nothing about it.

Several days later, she decided I should be the liaison with the corporate office on the audit, rather than herself. She informed the corporate office, our interim director and myself of this by email. Professionally, she probably should have talked to me about it before-hand, a lapse that I am more than a little irritate about given the previous situation.

Now I know she's been experiencing a lot of stress since our Compliance Officer left. Her 90-some-odd father also died last weekend, so I'm sure she may have been concerned about his health at the time- but maybe I am making excuses for her. This is not the first time she has done this sort of thing. Really, I need to say, "Susan, you don't need to treat me that way. I don't deserve it. Please come by when you feel more like talking."

But I don't. I meekly try to avoid confrontation. I give her the power, kind of like an alpha dog.

I think that's what happened to the last and only fight I had with my friend of 20-some odd years. I was trying to share with her some very real concerns that were important to me and she continuously brushed them off. I think in retrospect she assumed I didn't like her boyfriend and maybe disapproved of her life. I back-peddled, apologized furiously and contritely for days/weeks, when I really had not done anything wrong. I mean, I am accountable for getting angry, but that's all. And she never admitted wrong doing. I gave her the power. By apologizing somewhat profusely because I cared more about our friendship than who was actually at fault, she was able to stand in her tower and turn her nose up at the situation.

In hindsight, I think our friendship fell apart, not because of anything I did, or anything she did, but because both parties failed to meet in the middle. She determined that retaining power was more important to her than our history.

The same thing happened at the damn bicycle shop last summer. The hoity-toity sales guy who waited on me took offense because I wanted to try on shoes other than the ones he asserted were best. I apologized and meekly said it had not been my intent to question his knowledge- and walked out of this store with an expensive pair of bicycle shoes. A few hours later, I returned madder than a hornet, but you know the rest of the story.

I find it interesting. I am a well-educated, intelligent, mature woman (yes, I have to repeat that to myself occasionally), and yet I revert to jello at the first sign of confrontation.

I don't believe that anger is always appropriate, but being able to point out issues and then calmly walk away would be my best method of coping.

Dog gates

2010-01-21T16:06:00.000-08:00

I received the dog gates by mail on Tuesday afternoon. I put them up and Wednesday was the first full day of try-out. Denny, of course, has shown that he can walk through the small pet door at the bottom. He does not particularly like to, but he can and does. The funny thing, is Lucy can too. While she has long legs, Lucy can scrunch herself down and go through the small pet gate. And she looks so pleased about it! She positively smirks. The first time she did it, she immediately went upstairs and came down with a bone. I could almost hear her telling Lilly, “Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!”

I figured if there was evidence of peeing or pooping in the dining room on Thursday, then it would indicate Lucy was partly responsible- since only Lucy would have access. I could then shut the small pet door and restrict all three dogs.

The good news is, nothing happened on Thursday. Nothing in my dining room where Lucy could have done it, and nothing in my family room where Lilly could have done it. Yeah!

So, I made another appointment to get my carpets cleaned. I’m gonna go poor before this puppy grows up- vaccinations, dogs food, rawhide, carpet cleaning . . .

Buts its marginally worth it- she’s a snuggle puppy.

Oh, one other reason to have it done. Denny woke me up in the middle of the night Monday night. I’ve been keeping the bedroom door closed. Unfortunately, Denny didn’t make it outside in time. Now I have diarrhea-soiled carpet in the bedroom.

He’s fine. The shithead is fine. I suspect he may have swallowed a small strip of pig ear whole (since he has no teeth). No further problems, so it does not appear to be a bowel obstruction. Whew!

Bike pedals

2010-01-21T16:05:00.000-08:00

Do you remember this summer when I bought my first pair of cycling shoes? Well, last Sunday I went and bought and was fitted with new pedals. They’re Keo Sprints. Clipping in and out is very easy, although everyone is telling me I’ll fall at least once, or more than once. Ack! Not looking forward to that.

Now I’m thinking of sporting events that combine swimming and cycling. Its nice to be back in the saddle again. Just gotta find some balance between cycling and hiking this summer.

Hair

2010-01-21T16:01:00.000-08:00

I’ve been waging a love-hate relationship with my hair of late.

I let it get down to significantly below shoulder level, in part because I liked the way it felt. Usually I wait a couple of months between haircuts, but between October and November, I got my hair cut twice, by two different hairstylists- and hated both hair cuts. When you spend more time with your hair up, then down, you know its time to do something different.

So I decided to go short. I was actually toying with really short. Poured over websites. Bought two hair styling magazines and circled several I liked. Some were pixie, uber-short, some less so. Part of me simply wanted to have it all shaved off. Made an appointment for 3 weeks in the future- for the Saturday before Christmas. Also decided to get re-highlighted.

Its about an inch longer than my earlobes. Its highlighted with blond, and my stylist cut it to enhance my curl in back and bring some style to my straight front and top locks. Even decided to go with bangs- although really the hair in front hangs slightly under my eyes if I let it.

And I like it. Had short hair as a kid and periodically in adult hood. Right now it feels light and easy- and my earrings get to show.

So Fordo’s sporting a new, professional look. It has the added benefit of being easy to put in swimming cap. Only really problem is I don't have that bouncy counterpoint of rhythm that comes with a ponytail when you run, but I can live without it.

car update

2010-01-13T10:34:00.000-08:00

So . . . the car. Is fine.

I planned to take the car to the transmission place Monday morning. The check engine light was still on, even if there were no other syptoms. Dealership and transmission place had both told me the damage would get worse if I didn't get it fixed, so I planned to get the transmission rebuilt.

Sunday night, the check engine light went off. The car has no symptoms. I didn't take it. Why spend money to fix something with no symptoms?

So its watchful waiting. If symptoms appear, or the check engine light comes back on, then I'll take it in. Until then . . .

Puppy house training

2010-01-13T10:16:00.000-08:00

I'm having a devil of a time getting Lily house trained. As my dad says, she's sneaky. You never see her doing it, but you always find the evidence . . . later.

Now to be objective, I'm not sure she's doing it all the time. When I puppy-sat for a coworker several years ago, her dog was constantly peeing and pooping in my dining room. As a result, my well-behaved house trained dogs started following suit. I could tell by the size of the evidence. I think there might be some of that here, but again I can't tell for sure.

I have a fairly large house- about 1600 or 1700 square feet. Lily never does it in rooms we frequent, but only those we don't. First it was my guest bedroom. Weeks later, after failing to break the habit, I shut the guest bedroom door.

She's done it a few times in my office, but I use that room occasionally, so it did stop.

Then it was the dining room. The dogs play in the living room, so its never there, but happened with some frequency in the dining room. I thought I put a stop to it, until I discovered she simply switched which side of the table she went to.

About a month ago, I spend about $300 getting all of my carpets cleaned when I thought the behaviour had stopped. It hasn't, and now my carpets desperately need cleaned again. I don't want to shell out the cash again, if the dog is just going to continue.

She doesn't do it in my kitchen, family room, or bedroom- rooms we frequent. Last night I kept the bedroom door closed at night. She was fine. She immediately went out and peed this morning.

Unfortunately, there is currently no way to keep her out of the living room/dining room areas because the doorways to those rooms have no doors.

Yesterday I ordered extra tall dog gates for the doorways to both the dining room and living room. Lily's a jumper, so I went with the extra tall. I hope they'll stay in place. She's a strong little chunky monkey.

The gates have a smaller pet door in the bottom, so I 'm hoping Denny can get through even if Lily can't.

Either way, when they get here, I can restrict Lily and Lucy to the kitchen and family room. The dog door is in the family room and I've never seen a mess in the family room, so am hoping this works.

I've never had a dog this difficult to house train. Sigh.

Rude

2010-01-11T16:14:00.000-08:00

We're busy.

We're swamped.

People are under more pressure because our boss is no longer here- I get that. So am I. I kind of like it, though- sometimes.

But why does stress and pressure automatically give someone the excuse to be inexcusably rude?

Sigh.

Resolutions

2010-01-06T16:45:00.001-08:00

I resolve to look people in the eye when we talk.

I resolve to smile at strangers more.

I resolve to be more observant of people.

Why such odd resolutions? I'm shy. Or at least I used to be. I never notice a person's eye color or hair color, because I never look at their face. I always notice jewelry because I always look at people anywhere but their face. Dumb, yes?

Its a pattern of behaviour that was established long ago.

This morning at the dealership, I stopped momentarily to set my stuff down on a desk so I could don hat and gloves and zip my coat. A technician came over to use the computer. I excused myself and we made small talk. He was nice, but I have no idea what he looked like. I think he wore grey coveralls, but that's it. No idea, because I never looked up at him.

I think it makes people feel good to be looked at and smiled at. I resolve to notice people and make them feel better this year.

I look at people I know and work with, of course. I notice when Val looks ill or Phyllis is grumpy or Jared is tired, but I couldn't tell you what any one's eye color is.

Maybe I was a dog in a former life. Dogs are resistant to looking people in the eye because its seen as a challenge. If you are top dog, your dog will rarely stare you in the eye.

I talked and looked a several coworkers today. I looked generally at their heads, but didn't really look specifically at them.

Isn't that odd?

Car troubles

2010-01-06T11:43:00.001-08:00

Sigh.

Last winter, I had transmission trouble. When the weather grew cold, every time my car was warming up and going from a stop to low speeds, the transmission had trouble engaging. Specifically, the RPM would rev, without anything engaging and carrying me forward.

At the time I thought it might be serious transmission trouble. D checked the transmission fluid and added a few quarts. He then took the car to the dealership where they serviced the transmission- meaning they drained and refilled the fluid, among other things.

Never occurred to me the transmission fluid might be low. At the time, I was getting my oil changes and stuff from a quick lube place that advertised a 20-point check (or whatever). Among the checks was transmission fluid. Must not have checked it well, methinks. Anyway, I stupidly depended on them.

Anyway, after dealership did their thing, I had no more car troubles that winter or this summer. About a month ago, I had the same problem. Check engine light went on. I checked the fluid and added 2 quarts. Check engine light went off and it was all good . . . or so I thought.

I drove to Albuquerque over Christmas. Had no trouble until I hit the final hill in my parent's neighborhood the day before Christmas. Then I had the same trouble.

Didn't drive the car for over a week.

When we got back from TX, D and I checked the transmission fluid. It was fine. Turns out maybe not. Apparently, you are supposed to check transmission fluid when the car is running. Sigh.

Anyway, I drove back to CO with the check engine light on. Had no trouble on the freeway. Only had problems when I was going at very low speeds from a stop. Got back about 1 am Sunday morning. Took car to dealership today.

Woo, boy. They said hoses were causing loss of transmission fluid. They fixed hoses, added transmission fluid, and charged me $123. Told me the car (Subaru Forester) sustained irreparable damage to the transmission. It would continue to get worse. It would cost $4300 to replace the transmission. Ack!

Sigh.

Picked my car up at lunch. Runs better, but check engine light is still on.

Best options, I thought, were to go with a rebuilt transmission, or trade my little Subaru in for another used Subaru. D recommended I subscribe to Angie's list and find a transmission mechanic with good ratings. Found 2. The one would not give an estimate until he looked at it. The other gave an estimate of $600 to $2200 to fix the car, depending on what's wrong with it, and whether we use Subaru parts or not.

Sigh.

Taking the car to the transmission place on Monday. They plan to have it between 1 and 3 days. I'll have to rent a car.

Please cross your fingers that its $1,000 or less.

Dumb, dumb, dumb! How could I be so flippin' dumb?!

Sigh.

I'm back . . . kind of

2010-01-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

Not really sure what I want this blog to be, if anything. Hmm.

Boss lady retired a few months ago. The job was offered to someone and we think she accepted. I'm a little leery of the changes that will mean. New person comes from another, much smaller region of our company. She thinks she may put some of us informally reporting to others of us. Considering I have more experience than all but 2 people of 9, I'm not fond of that idea, nor are my coworkers. If someone makes me report to Scott, Janell, Teisha, or Susan, I may quit with no notice what-so-ever. But then of course, I may be fretting over nothing.

I'm also concerned about how she may view my job description. I'm kind of an enigma at my company. Few regions have someone of my job title, since we have the whole national compliance department. Things is, Nat. is usually so concerned about the problem regions that they rarely come to ours. What this means is that if I did not do compliance audits, they would rarely, if ever get done.

Hmm.

Went to Albuquerque for Christmas. Sister and Niece were supposed to join us there a day or two after Christmas, but Mom was concerned about their ability to handle inclement weather in their little Mazda Miata with bad tires. We all met Sister and Niece in Amarillo, TX, instead. Saw the Cadillacs stuck in the ground, ate Mexican food and barbecue, played a lot of games, and I found myself wanting some serious alone time.

We were together 3 nights. M & D got us all 3 rooms at a motel. Nice motel- continental breakfast included each morning. There were more problems than I would have liked, however.

First night, we all put our stuff in rooms and went to dinner. Came back and played games in M & D's room 257. S & N were in 259. I was in 261. They were all in a row. After games, I went to my room to find my heater didn't work. Called D and neither of us could get it to function. Motel moved me to 267, at the head of the stairs.

Next day, M asked them to move me back to an adjoining room, so they moved me too 255, on the other side of M & D. Unfortunately, I left a full bottle of Aveeno lotion in 267 and misplaced and earring- a fact I did not discover until the next morning.

I called the office when I noticed the missing items. They never saw the earring and had thrown my lotion away! Not happy. Of course they didn't tell me that right away- they just failed to call me back each time I called. I finally cornered them at the registration desk and they admitted same.

The first morning, the electronic key to S and N's room also did not work. S had to drive back to the office to get a new key.

The first night I was in 255, the tv didn't work. Looks like the picture was going out. It did eventually stabilize, but . . .

The morning we were to leave, check out was 12 noon. We all ate breakfast, dressed, and packed- then went to M & D's room to play more games. At 11:30 am, we all went back to our rooms to finish packing and load the cars. Our keys wouldn't work. They'd locked us out prematurely. M & I both called the office and reported the problem before someone finally came up with working keys.

In all that hassle, I left my cell phone charger behind. I called yesterday. The office found it. They wanted my credit card number for shipping charges before they before they would send it to me. When I explained who I was, they agreed to send it gratis.

Niece is a joy, though. I'm on a mission to find her old cameras, given that she has expressed an interest in old time photography. Niece is 16.

Came back to Albuquerque and both M & D ended up with bad colds- or flu. M ran a slight temp for a day, so it makes you wonder. Sat, their plumbing lines plugged up. Neither toilet would flush- they overflowed if you didn't turn them off quickly. Shower and tub held standing water. D used the snake on the shower and pulled out tree roots. I went ahead and left Sat night at 6, since I saw no point in staying in a motel Sat night, only to stay 1/2 a day Sunday. Plumber arrived Sat night at 9 pm, and was able to use his cutting snake to clear the lines.

What's problematic is that M & D had this same problem exactly one year ago. They spent $12,000 fixing plumbing pipes under the house. Plumber had to jack hammer up the concrete in the living room through the guest bath, dig 6 foot down, to find the pipes and repair the junctions. They thought that the builder did not correctly join the pipes under the house. Plumber fixed it. Everyone thought, 12,000 dollars later, that the problem was fixed. M & D are not happy to have the same problem again. Sadly, problem is not covered by insurance because pipes were under the house.

Oh, and In the Air and Sherlock Holmes are very good movies. Saw both of them over Christmas.

Consternation with siding issues

2009-10-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

So, I don't do well with lack of control. I freak out and get upset. Why, who knows? Hated being married to my alcoholic husband because I couldn't control the stupid things he did financially, drinking, etc.

In June, we had hail storms. I sustained damage to my siding. No damage to my roof, because it was only 2-3 years old, but definitely damage to the vinyl siding. People up and down my street sustained similar damage to roof, siding, etc.

I called and made a claim in August. My agent said the adjuster would come out, look at everything including roof, siding, gutters, screen, etc. Adjuster didn't do that. He asked me what the damage was. Said the damage was $600-some odd which was less than my $1,000 deductible.

He said, I should contact a siding company to see if my siding could be matched to existing siding. If not, I should ask the siding company to send a letter to the insurance company telling them that. The insurance company would then authorize replacement of the damaged sides. I did so.

I called and told my agent the adjuster hadn't done what he said he was going to do. The adjuster recommended I contact the adjuster's boss. The boss responded by assigning a different adjuster to come out and start the claim from square one.

Yesterday the adjuster was supposed to come out to my house. I had arranged for the siding company to be there at the same time. Yesterday morning, the adjuster called the siding company (not me) and said he would be there in about 15 minutes. I guess he also indicated he would cut off a piece of my siding to send it in to see if it could be matched. The siding company could not get there that quickly.

I called the adjuster. Explained I was not comfortable with him cutting off a piece of my siding and I really wanted the siding company to be there. I canceled the appointment and he said he would call to reschedule. Later that day, I called the adjuster and left a message, explaining I needed more information about how this process would work and what to expect. For example, why did I jump through hoops over several weeks to get a company to write a letter, if they were going to remove a piece anyway?

I never heard back from the adjuster. Today I discovered the adjuster had changed. Why? No one knows? Did anyone tell me? No.

Insurance company called the siding company today to reschedule. The siding company told me about the new date/time (the insurance company did not).

I called the new adjuster. He was adamant that they have to remove a 2' x 2' piece of my siding (from somewhere that won't be noticeable???). I cannot have it back. He could not tell me what would happen next until he comes out and looks at the house.

Sigh. Mumble, grumble, grumble.

Oh. And these adjusters think if they have to replace a side that is damaged, they will just replace the side that is damaged. They will not replace the sides that aren't damaged just so they match the sides they do replace. I have a corner house. Multiple sides are visible.

Oh, and if they decide the siding can be matched, a brand new piece will be inserted into a wall of siding that has been in place since 1993. I'm thinging the fading will be completely different.

Grrr.

I'm not very patient or comfortable with a lack of control.

Life is good

2009-10-21T16:05:00.000-07:00

Its snowing! And its so pretty. Not sticking on the streets enough to make driving hazardous and not sticking on the sidewalks enough to shovel. All we have to do is relax and enjoy the calmly falling flakes. And this weekend is supposed to be beatiful.

Work is going well, although boss-lady is retiring at the end of November and we have no clue who her successor will be. Ack!

Dogs are well. Lucy and Lilly are now playing. Such lovely little dogs. Lilly, being the puppy is up to inappropriate chewing behaviour. I need to start taking picture. Just when I think I've "puppy proofed" things, she finds something new.

I have a light fixture I purchased last winter for over my kitchen sink. I haven't installed it yet, because I want to do a little more paining in the kitchen. The fixture has been sitting in its egg-carton type tray on the fireplace since I bought it. She pulled it down and chewed on it this morning. Strewed things all over the family room. Luckily she did not eat anything important.

A few days ago, she dug up one of my houseplants. I wasn't too upset about it because the plant wasn't doing too well anyway. I threw the plant away, cleaned up the potting soil, but left the pot with the rest of the soil on the living room floor until I had time to take it to the basement. Today Lilly had fun playing in the potting soil again.

Little goof.

Happy birthday to me

2009-10-16T19:36:00.000-07:00

I'm 40 today.

I feel the need to count my blessings.

1. I'm healthy and strong.

2. I have a wonderful, loving family.

3. I have sweet friends.

4. I have wonderful pets.

5. I own my home.

6. I'm educated.

7. I have a job I usually enjoy with coworkers I like.

8. I enjoy my imagination.

9. I can do pretty much whatever I like, once I figure out what that is.

Here's to another 40 years.

And I'm thinking this officially means I'm middle-aged.

So, I got another dog . . .

2009-10-16T07:27:00.001-07:00

Last weekend, it got pretty darn cold Saturday morning. It got me to thinking that pups and I don't get as much exercise during the winter. We get exercise, of course, but compared to hiking peaks, and doing 14 miles, the winter is anticlimactic. My Mom had suggested Lucy might like to have a puppy to play with.

Saturday, I went to the Denver Dumb Friends League. Found 2, 2 year old girls I wanted Lucy to meet. They really didn't have very many young female dogs big enough to play with Lucy.

Sunday I went back with Lucy and Denny- and my friend Chris. Denny stayed in the car, but Lucy individually met a border collie mix named Beauty and a cattle dog mix named Harriet. Beauty was, as her name indicates, very pretty. Harriet, wasn't very pretty, but showed a lot of playfullness. She was also a little stubborn. I could not convince her to sit in the slightest.

I took another look throught the pens and found another dog who had not been there the day before. I think she's part Austrailian shepherd and maybe part sheltie and/or corgie. She's 1 year old. She's 35 pounds and slightly smaller than Lucy. She was not playful with Lucy, but she was very, very sweet and submissive. Her name was Selene.

For better or worse, I chose Selene. I figured she would be much more playful once she got used to us. I've named her Lily.

According to the paperwork that came with her, she was relinquished by her owner to a shelter in New Mexico in August. October 2nd, she was transferred to the DDFL. On the NM paperwork, it showed her name was Pili. I don't know whether that was her name when she was given up, or whether it was the name the shelter gave her.

On Monday morning, little Lily was spayed. I picked her up Monday evening.

She's becoming more and more comfortable every day. She growled at Lucy a few times at first. I grumped at her for it, and she has desisted. Matter of fact, she follows Lucy and shows a lot of friendliness.

I don't think she was house trained. Although, who knows? By Wednesday, I'd taught her how to use the dog door. She didn't seem to know what to do when she went outside, but she did go outside. Every morning, evening and at lunch, I went outside with her- attempting to get her to do something productive I could praise her for, but she never would. She pooped and peed in the house Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday. No sign of anything Thursday.

Wednesday, she was feeling much better, so I took her to the dog park with us. I kept her close by me. She was a little freaked out and growled at every dog who came near her. I grumped at her each time. I don't know if she was ever exposed to other dogs.

Anyway, Wednesday, I put her on top of the picnic table at the park. She was spayed on Monday, after all, so I don't want her to be too excited or active for at least a week. She liked the picnic table. She got to look around and get lots of attention without being overly stressed by the dogs.

Last night we went again. She didn't want to stay on the picnic table. She showed a lot of interest in the other dogs. I kept her on a leash, to keep her close by.

I still feel bad about Harriet and Beauty- and numerous other dogs. Wish I could have helped more of them. I think Lily is a good fit, though. She's such a sweetie.

So, I've got 3 dogs again. Have no idea what I'm going to do next year when its time to hike again. Guess I'll figure it out when it comes up. In the meantime, I'm bestowing lots of love on Lucy and Denny to show them their still tops. Snuggling with Lily to give her self confidence. Teaching her to go outside, walk on the leash, and not jump out of the car until I ask her to.

I do find it amusing. Language. My dogs know certain words. Move. Do you wanna . . . go for a walk, go to the park, eat dinner, a bone? Move right. Sit. Stay.

Lily doesn't know any words. She is picking up her name and sit.

Can't believe I have 3 dogs.

Weird dreams

2009-10-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

I've been having weird dreams almost every morning the past couple of weeks. After a few hours, I can't really remember what I dreamed, other than that I did. This morning, I dreamed someone cut my arms off. I remember negotiating with him to do so below my elbows instead of above. Then there was how I got help to get to the hospital. They managed to reattach my arms, I think, but there was still significant rehabilitation.

Very unnerving.

I think I may be having these vivid dreams just before I wake because its gotten cooler at night. I've got my heat on, and sleep fairly cool- set to 60, or something. Because I have such a hard time getting up in the morning when its cold out, I have my thermostat set to warm the house up around 5 am. At 5, the heater clicks on and warms the house up to 68 or so for a couple of hours.

All I can figure is that the change in temperature brings me closer to waking, or something. Might bear some reseatch.

Reasons to love fall

2009-10-02T09:30:00.001-07:00

These are my reasons to love fall. Yours may be different. :)

~The weather is pleasant during the day and much cooler at night. The cooler night temperatures intiate my burrowing instinct which makes me fall asleep easier and stay asleep better.

~The dogs are happier when its cooler. You can see this tangible increase in energy and toothy grins.

~The cooler temperatures mean lower power bills and water bills. More money in the pocket is always nice, isn't it?

~Fall color. Brilliant reds and golds and oranges and yellows in all the trees.

~Less yard work. When the temperatures cool, the grass starts to hibernate. The grass need less frequent or no mowing.

~Halloween. Although those cute kids searching for candy.

~Carving pumpkins.

~Ghost stories. This may be my number one. I love ghost stories. 'Round about this time of month, tv starts broadcasting any number of spooky movies, shows and the like. If you can put logic aside, I love the delicious shudder such stories cause.

Judging by appearances

2009-09-30T17:59:00.000-07:00

People judge by appearances.

First episode

In my industry we have a few select people who head the certification academies, tests, and the like. One such person has written books and is at nearly every meeting. Her visage is seen on all of our literature, etc. She reminds me a little of Princess Diana- pale skin, short blond hair, tall thin frame, and a long thin neck.

Last week, my coworkers and I received the newest publication from our certification organization. The woman was interviewed and had her picture on the front. My coworker came to me before I'd even opened mine. "Look at how much weight she's gained. My God!"

Granted the woman has gained a remarkable amount of weight. I almost wonder if she has Cushings. Its such a dramatic weight gain in such a short amount of time. But I was afronted by my coworker. Why was it necessary to exclaim over this poor woman's size? Why was it that important? I found it sad, and a little offensive. Do you know what I mean?

Second episode

I go to a dog park. One of my acquaintances there, M, has a little puff ball named Gus. Gus is a sheltie. M is very nice and we spend a lot of time talking pleasantly. During the last year I have noticed that he is most definitely a Republican, and possibly a bigot. One of those people who would claim they're not, but would also lace their language with colorful descriptions so as to leave no doubt of their opinion.

He was describing an interaction he had with a man a couple of nights before. The man had a pitbull and was a gang member, in M's opinion. I made a face and explained that all pitbulls aren't bad, but I think bad owners give them a bad reputation. M then told me the guy was "a big black man with a lot of tatoos." He then went on to tell me how he'd lived in the inner city long enough that he can identifiy gang members or wannabe gang members.

I frowned a lot and tried to protest. I was saved from any further discourse on the matter because M had to take Gus home. But again, wether he was right or not, is irrelevant. I think M merely judged based on his observations that (a) the man was big and black, (b) the man had a lot of tatoos, and (c) the man had a pitbull. All of these added up to a bad, scarey person.

I'm not saying there aren't scarey parts of the city, but I think some people make judgement calls based on what they see and the stereotypes they hear.

As I re-read this, I have to wonder if I'm doing the same thing. I'm making a judgement call based on what I am hearing from M. Unfortunately, M's observations, plus Republican makes me see him as shortsighted and prejudiced.

The rug bleeds

2009-09-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

I have a red bathroom rug. One of those fluffy, typical rugs used to step onto after a shower. One of my dogs apparently likes to sleep on it- maybe more so when its storming outside. It is also apparent that subject dog makes him or herself a comfortable bed by scratching.

Why do I know this? Because I have thousands of pieces of the rug tracked through my entire house. I vacuum, but it happens again. Doggie scratches up the rug fibers, and one or all three of us track them through the house. I've even found the fibers in my car and at work. Last night I picked one off of my sweat pants when I was getting ready to get in the pool.

Darn dog!

I didn't drown

2009-09-30T10:54:00.000-07:00

Of course, I also didn't do the full 3950 yards of the workout. I did about 2200 yards. I like to think that's partly because I wasted a lot of time asking questions and finding out how things work.

There are six lanes. From left to right it goes from fastest swimmers to slowest.

There is no coach, but someone evidently took the time to make up literally hundreds of workouts. We were on 142 last night.

For liability reasons, one person has to be on deck at all time- ostensibly to watch everyone else. People take turns. They sign up for 1/2 a workout once a month or so.

People were friendly and I kind of slipped in like I'd never left.

I started out (voluntarily) in the slowest lane. Only one other swimmer was in the lane. I was rather quite a bit faster than she was, but it worked out well because after about 1000 yards, my energy levels reduced drammatically. Rather than doing flip turns with every lap, I found myself stopping at the end each time. I suspect that will improve with increased endurance.

Oh, and foot cramps. I forgot about that. Gotta read up on the why's and how's of prevention. I suspect I just need more potassium.

Oh, and I was pleased to see I wasn't the oldest or the biggest sausage. Happiness comes with little things.

Swimming

2009-09-29T13:37:00.000-07:00

So I'm gettin back in the pool. Gulp. I think.

When I swam competitively, I wore a 34 or 36 suit. I put on a 38 suit this morning, and it was more than a little tight. Good thing its got lycra in it. Trouble is, because there's no where for my excess to go, I came out looking like a bit of a sausage. A 40 year old sausage.

Got in touch with the local Master's team a week ago. Explained I used to be a good swimmer. Now I'm an overweight, middle ager who hasn't seen a pool for awhile. The guy, V, I emailed with said I would fit right in. I'm sceptical, mostly because their workouts are quite a bit of distance.

They swim and hour and a half 3 times a week. That's fine. Trouble is, they swim over 4200 yards each work out. I haven't swam that much since high school. Last few times I tried to swim lapts, I couldn't do more than 4 laps without having to rest.

Each length of the pool is about 25 yards (sometimes 25 or 50 meters), but the standard in the US seems to be 25 yards. One lap is 25 yards. 4 laps is a 100. 16 laps is a 400. 160 laps is 4000. So 4200 would be 180 laps. I used to do it all the time, but now I'm a fat fuddy-duddy.

Sigh. If I can do this, It'll probably help whip me back into shape. Nothing tones the tummy better than flip-turns in my estimation. I also seem to work well in competition. Swimming against someone else in a variety of distance and sprints should help to fuel the internal burner. I hope.

Boy, do I hope. Otherwise I'm gonna look pretty darn silly.

Then there's the ear problem. I haven't really been able to swim for about 3 years, without being in significant pain to the left ear. No one seems to really know why- not the PCP, allergist, or ENT. Ah well. I bought a variety of ear plugs off the internet. They should be pretty effective at sealing the water out of my left ear. If it does, I should be fine.

If I don't drown.

Home repairs for a friend

2009-09-28T12:07:00.000-07:00

I helped a friend Saturday night. She has been smelling damp or mildew in her bathroom any time it rains outside. She thinks she has traced the source, but didn't know how to fix it.

C has one of those jetted tubs. It has a piece of particle board or wood that covers the side of the tub, and its plumbing. Looks like it used to be caulked into place on both sides. The caulk seal broke and the board moves, now.

I visited her Saturday night. I'm not sure I believe thats where the odor comes from, or if it does, she has a much bigger problem. However, it does look like the board needs to be anchored into place. I suggested we glue it, first, then caulk it, because caulk alone won't hold it in place.

C has two Austrailian Shepherds. The youngest is only a little over a year old, and (hopefully) just out of his chewing stage. Months ago, he chewed both vinyl flaps in his dog door. C tried to jury-rig things with tape, but it didn't work too well. She lamented the fact that she couldn't buy flaps for the dog door from the local pet stores. I suggested she try on-line.

When I went over Saturday night, C showed me she'd been able to order and purchase new dog door flaps. So, I replaced them while I was there.

We also took a run to Lowes. With my help, she bought glue and caulk. I bought some new drill bits. Back at her house, I set her to work with some sand paper to roughen up the joints that would be glued. She did this while I replaced the flaps on her dog door. We then glue the board on the tub. Its supposed to cure for 24 hours, so I'll go back some time this week and show her how to caulk.

At Lowes she also picked up a couple more bolts for her back gate. I then tightened and straightened some things to make the gate more secure.

Some times I think there might be money to made in women showing women how to do home repairs. Most of our lives, we either rely on our fathers to do home repairs, or our boyfriends or husbands. We never actually learn ourselves until we need to.

Some things I was brought up doing. My dad was always showing me how to do things, even when I was too bored to care. It wasn't until after my divorce, though, that I bought my first power tools. I was divorced in late 2004. I now own (and know how to use) two drills, a power sander, a circular saw, a scroll saw, and an electric chain saw. How cool is that?

Interesting weekend

2009-09-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

Had a fun weekend. The local history museum was having appraisals on Saturday. For $5 per item, you were allowed to bring in up to 5 items. An antique appaisor would tell you what they knew about the item. I brought in five items.

1. A needle point/tapestry picture. In the early to mid eighties, my parents and I went to an antique auctions most Friday nights. At the time, antiques were coming over to the US in box cars, supposedly because the Europeons didn't value them enough. Auction houses were buying up the box cars and auctioning off the antiques.

M&D bid on this picture. They think they got it for $75- the minimum bid- and they may have been the only bidders. 15 years later, when M&D were downsizing their household, they asked if there was anything I wanted. I asked for this picture. I thought it was beautiful, and obviously old. Lots of gold thread.

The ladies at the auction said it was early Victorian and dipicted a scene from Scottish history of Bonnie Prince Charlie. They estimated its worth at $1,500. They were wowed by the detail and the work put into the picture. They thought it would be well worth my putting $$ into it to have it professionally restored and protected.

M&D were amazed when I told them. I offered it back to them. They declined.

2. A copper tankard. I bought it for $10 about a year ago from a little antique store in NM. To me it looked handmade and old. My D and I did a lot of research on line and at the library, but could find virtually nothing about old copper.

Lady appraisor said it is from the early 1800s. English. Handmade and lined with tin. Worth about $225. Too cool.

3. A ring my grandmother gave me. 15 kt with small pink rubies and seed pearls. 1870s or 1880s. Hand engraved. Europeon. Probably worth $275-$300.

4. A pair of earrings I bought from Craigslist for $20. To me they looked Victorian. Gold with small cabachon amethysts and opals. Antique guy said they're actually sterling silver- just heavily tarnished. Probably Victorian. They contain cabachon ruby and opal (not amethyst). Probably worth only $45-$50. He recommended how I go about cleaning them.

5. A pair of primitive black metal figurines. About 3-4 inches tall. I think they are bronze. Magnets do not adhere to them. I bought them from an Asian antique store for $40. The dealer knew nothing about them. Sadly, neither did any of the antique appaisors. Ah well. I like them. The mystery continues.

That's the fun thing about antiques. There's always a storey to tell and a history to reveal. The next appraisal is in April. I'm already thinking about which 5 things I want to take.

Unfun

2009-09-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

Last weekend and this week hasn’t been overly fun.

Saturday I went to an art festival- in the rain. Even so, it was pleasant- and I recognized a number of artists. I bought 3 things- a handmade silk wrap/blouse for my mom and one for me, and a pair of earrings. I also spent time talking to artists of horsey things to honor an obligation I’d made.

Boss lady is retiring this year, after 30 some-odd years with the company. My department, which has 12 people or so, is attempting to prepare going away parties and presents for her, something we have to do in concert with her boss, who is the president of the company.

One of my co-workers arranged a meeting for us in one the conference rooms a couple of months ago. At the time, we talked about a variety of things, and she tasked me with finding something artsy and horsey for one of Boss lady’s presents. Another coworker will work on a photo album, while a third puts together a slide presentation. She also indicated that the company would contribute $400 (based on length of service) to provide a present for the leaving person.

We had a second meeting at a later date, when we learned things were not entirely up to us, because Boss’ boss wanted some say. But that only impacted the parties, not the presents. At this time, we intend to have a public party, with everyone Boss lady has known, at one time. We will have a second shin dig at a bar and/or bowling alley with just our department.

Anyway, I’ve been looking into things. At the original meeting, one coworker recommended a bronze of a horse. I wasn’t too confident in our ability to get that since bronzes usually run in the thousands of dollars. Our budget, at the time, was indicated to be $400 to maybe $800. The original coworker, who appointed me to do this, also suggested I consult a woman in our company who purchased the art for our buildings. I did so, but haven’t yet heard anything.

But, I’ve been looking. Usually expense of art runs the gamut of expense: bronze, oils and acrylics, watercolors, photography. Photography is usually cheapest, with bronzes being the most expensive. Cost is also determined by talent and notoriety of artist.

At the art festival, I talked to lots of people and viewed lots of media. Weighing cost, and beauty, the stuff I was most impressed with were photographs of horses done by a woman named Susan. Susan is able to take photos and using her computer, she turns the background black, or other non-descript, so the horses “pop”. Very pretty pictures she managed to capture- many with the horses in action.

When I returned to the office on Tuesday, I sent an email around to my coworkers providing the details of her work. Wow. The reactions from coworkers were incredible. One coworker demanded to know where we would get the money for a present for Boss lady. She did not want to use the $400 because then the present would be from company, not from us. A second coworker thought she could take just as pretty photos.

At this point, I back-peddled and said others probably knew Boss lady better, and I only did what I was asked to do. A third coworker blasted me for not knowing a new employee had his name and my email went to him. He then said that I was not asked to do anything- I volunteered. This is not what I recall- and verified same with other employees. Luckily, or sadly, I was asked/appointed to do so.

Now, I ask you, if they did not want me to do what original coworker appointed me to do, why did they not say so in the original two meetings?

Sadly, something else of little public consequence happened last weekend. I bought a lovely pair of earrings on Saturday, which I wore all day Sunday. Sunday, I did lots of stuff- took the dogs to the park; went to Home Depot; went to gym; and mowed, weed-wacked, and edged all of my yards. At bedtime, one of my earrings was missing. They only cost $35, but they were brand-new, dangit, and I liked them.

Monday, I had taken the day off, intending to go hiking. Instead, at 8:30, I got up and took the dogs to the park. We walked every place we had the day before, with me intensely scanning the ground for the lost earring. Finding nothing, we went home, and I spend the next couple of hours retracing the path of my lawnmower, etc in the lawns. I also looked in the car, the house, and the garage. Then I went back to Home Depot and the gym to look at their lost and found. Nothing. Next, I made signs to post at the park.

Sigh. Still nothing, dangit. Tuesday, I called the jeweler and asked if they could make me another one. For half the price of the original, that is what they are currently doing.

(Disgusted shake of head.)

Research opportunities

2009-09-09T10:00:00.001-07:00

I went to a small liberal arts college where I was able to do things only graduate students typically did at a big college. It’s funny, on reflection, that I seemed to be singled out by teachers. It certainly wasn’t due to stunning performance. In high school, I was chosen by my biology teacher to be her assistant. What that meant, was in lieu of study hall or some other such class, I set up experiments, washed glassware, and other such stuff for the biology teacher.

This trend carried on into college. One of my favorite professors was my chemistry professor, who also happened to be a Ph.D microbiologist. My second year of college, she asked me to be her research assistant. During the summer, I and another fellow, as well as two profs, spent the summer tramping around the mountains of Colorado collecting water samples from ponds and streams. We were studying the antibiotic resistance of high altitude bacteria. Considering this was the late 80s and early 90s we did some of the early research that we take for granted today.

The next day, we would take the water samples collected the previous day and plate them on agar-filled petri dishes. Then we would carefully place little antibiotic disks on the plates. Later, after the bacteria grew, or failed to grow, we would document the results, using a ruler to measure diameter of lack of growth around the antibiotic disks.

Other duties included mixing agar, filling the petri dishes, running the autoclave, cleaning glassware, etc. I think I did this for two summers. During my final year I started to take the data we’d collected and interpret, calculate, and so forth. To this day, the smell of rice cooking, always brings me back to this time. It smells like the cooking agar.

Another job I had during college was as math tutor. It always drove me crazy that students saw no need for a tutor until 2 weeks before finals, when they expected me to teach them a whole semester of calculus. WTF!

I had another professor who was a Ph.D. in biology. We had two cadavers in our small college. He hired me as “independent study” to dissect on of the legs down to the tendons and ligaments for his gross anatomy class. Since I had not taken the gross anatomy class, I thought this was pretty cool. Fun, too. The smell of formaldehyde wasn’t too pleasant, though.

I loved the sciences in college, but sadly, couldn’t hack it. So much of undergraduate science is memory-based. They expect you to learn the parts of the cell, but won’t teach you the why’s. Unfortunately, the harder I tried to memorize, the more difficult it was. Interest and enthusiasm weren’t enough. I simply could not cram that much information into my brain in a short amount of time. The more I tried, the more I stressed about it, the worse it got.

So I majored in English- which was absurdly easy for me- and minored in Biology and Chemistry. Except for a statistics class, I would have had a minor in math, too. I did have one class that was a problem- linguistics. Again, a memory-based class. There were few opportunities for making grades in the class, other that mid-term and final. My dear grandmother died just before the mid-term. I was sick with the flu at the time of the final. It was the only time in my life I have ever had someone require a doctor’s note. Of course, it was also the only time I have ever needed to delay an exam. I guess looking at it from the professor’s point of view, she’d probably had lots of slacker students. I failed the class, but another dear professor allowed me to take it under his tutelage individually so I was allowed to graduate. I went from “F” to “A”.

I suspect part of memory problem is a mental block. I really have a pretty good memory, and can remember things far longer that other people. Its just went I try to force my memory to remember things, pieces of information dribble out like a sieve. I remember some classes that I struggled with, I would reach my breaking point, and decide “f-it,” and stopped trying so hard. Miraculously, I would then start getting good grades in the class.

My mother could cram the night before and do well on a test. She never understood why I had trouble with multiple choice tests. But then she forgets everything she learned by the next week. I can remember things far longer, but am unable to cram. Curious, huh?

I’ll explain later why I started thinking about this.

Cycling shoes

2009-08-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Guess I never updated about the cycling shoes.

The same day I bought the things with the unsatisfactory experience, I went back- after work. A different guy helped me and was very nice. He was friendly and brought out all the bicycling shoes they had that were in my size. I tried them all on and found the pair I wanted. Men seem to like wide comfortable shoes. Me, I like shoes that usually feel secure. The pair I found, felt secure. Al the way around. But they also have plenty of velcro and plenty of room for me to losen them if my feet swell on a long ride. I was very gratified.

This new Sales Guy teased me and probably flirted with me, but that's ok. He showed me what I wanted to look at, didn't argue, didn't make me feel uncomfortable, and helped me to find what I wanted. So now I'm happy with my cycling shop again.

The next step is to buy peddles. Probably in two weeks. Oh, and this Sales Guy showed me peddles and we discussed the differences, etc. Its all good.

Epicondylitis

2009-08-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

I have tennis elbow. Epicondylitis. Tendonitis. Ouch. PA gave me large quantities of ibuprofen, advised me to ice my arm, and advised me to wrap it with a tennis elbow band.

So, I guess this weekend I rest, mostly.

Arm hurts today

2009-08-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

So my left shoulder feels better. Not 100%, but much better and I now notice what postures irritate it.

Think I've damaged my right arm, though. For this garden bed I periodically work on, I am using stone to border it. The stone is really a concrete block colored in browns and tans. For each layer of stone I put in, I have to break a stone at the end to fit. I have to do this 6 times. To break a stone, requires a masonry chisel and a hammer.

My first attempt at cleaving one of these blocks resulted in broken, crumbling block. I found a video on the Lowe's website, though, which showed how to break them properly. Turns out you use the chisel along one side, then the other side, then back to the first, over and over again, alternating until it falls apart.

Yesterday, I managed to do 2 of the the blocks I need to break. A victory! Trouble is, you are hitting a metal chisel, with a metal headed hammer on concrete. It takes about 5 hits per side, and each side was hit 30-some odd times. Since the energy doesn't go very far in the metal or concrete, it seems to travel up into my arm. Ouch! Elbow hurts. What's distrubing, though is the sudden, extreme loss of strength. My right arm is dominant. I've been lifting weights for 9 months. I'm fairly strong. All of a sudden, I can't lift a coffee pot or jug of milk with my right arm. While it hurts, it the loss of strength that is distrubing. And kind of interesting.

I can baby it and see if it improves. Last night I iced it, and will ice it today. Trouble is, I have 4 more blocks to break. I either don't get it done, continue to damage my right arm, or give it a shot with my left arm. Might do that today. Mumble gumble, grumble. Aaggh!

Hair

2009-08-29T09:15:00.000-07:00

Lets talk about hair. Or rather, I'll talk about hair.

My mother was born in 1941. She was the oldest of 4 children and lived in a rural community. Her mom always insisted her hair be long. She hated it. Mom went to work in the computer industry with a math and physics degree back when few women worked and computers were very large. Ever since she started working, her hair has always been very short. To a very large extent, I think she looked at it as a way to defeminize herself in a man's industry in a man's time of work. This was in the 60's and 70's when workplaces still often mandated women wear skirts and dresses to work.

My sister and I came along in the 60s- my sister in 62 and me in 69. As a child, my mom cut my sister's hair a few times. Sister hated it so much, she never cut her hair shorter than her shoulders again.

My mom also insisted I keep my hair short- especially past age 7 or so. I was a competitive swimmer from 7-17 anyway, so this didn't bother me overly much. Every winter I was allowed to grow my hair out, in which time it went to my shoulders. Come summer, the hair was cut short. We did have a neighbor at the time, who was always referring to me as the "xxxx's little boy."

Then I go off to college. After one truly heinous haircut by a little old lady in her basement hair salon- I didn't get my hair cut again during college. She gave me a mullet! I kept a hat on for weeks. This was 1987.

During college, my hair came down to my mid-back. When I entered the work force, I went back and forth between shoulder length, short, and everything in between. It never was as short as my childhood, nor was it as long as it was in college.

So Sister had a daughter. Neice is 16 now, and always has worn her hair long- and of a variety of colors. When she was little, she always wanted it short, but her mother would never cut it.

Why am I babbling about hair length? I find it interesting how a person's upbringing impacts how she raises her daughter. That person's upbringing then impacts how they raise their daughter. Cultural phenomena also come in to play. Obviously long hair was de rigueur in the 40s and 50s. On second thought, maybe that's not entirely true. The 40s and 50s were the era of the WWII pinup girls, Rosie the Riveter, etc. Many of these cultural icons cut their hair short. Like rock and roll, though, it may have taken a while for the older generation to fall in with the desire of the younger generation.

My mother always permed her hair. Not sure when it started, but she definitely permed it though the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. She hasn't permed it for a year or two now and it looks much better. Chuckle. That may just be my opinion, though.

She permed my hair a few times when I was a teenager- both when it was short, and when it was longer. I tolerated it, but never really liked it. I do kind of like to highlight it. I used to be towheaded, but my hair has darkened considerable during the last 10 to 20 years.

My Sister has very dark black hair. For most of her life, she spends a lot of time curling her hair every day in big, fat curlers. The last time I saw her (at Christmas), it was very straight and glossy black. Mom thinks she used straightener and colored her hair. Said with a frown, I find my Mom's disfavor of Sister's hair amusing in light of the lengths Mom went through to chemically change her hair.

So, Mom permed in her generation, I highlight and Sister straightens in hers. Oh, and neice colors hers purple in hers.

Its all a little like the changing fashion of skirt length.

Shopping: Men vs Women

2009-08-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

I was at the bicycle shop today. I’ve always been universally happy with this particular shop . . . until today. I decided to buy cycling shoes and toe clips. I’ve never used them before, but I understand they make a big difference in your cycling, so I decided to get them.

I was perusing the wall of shoes trying to discern the differences. Basically, there are road bike shoes and mountain bike shoes. Mountain bike shoes have heavy cleats (recognizing you might have to walk from time to time), a specific clip system, and they are heavier shoes. Road bike shoes are very lightweight, and all seem to have the same mounting system.

At this point a Sales Guy approached me and we discussed the choices and some differences. He basically said that your choice of shoe depends mostly on how the shoe fits. It sounds an awful lot like choosing a running shoe or hiking boot- which surprised me because you sit on a bike. But ok. I pointed out a couple of shoes I wanted to try on, based on closure mechanism, color, and cost. Sale Guy disagreed, explaining that my foot looked wide and we should measure it.

So we measure it. He decided that only 2 shoes would do for me, and they were out of one. I frowned, but he disappeared in the back, coming back with one box of shoes. I tried on the shoes. They were much roomier inside than I was accustomed to, but he said that was the way they were supposed to fit. Ok. He made a few comments, and I think I responded with a fairly bland, “could be . . . “ He took offense and decided I didn’t think he knew what he was talking about.

So he told me. He’d been doing this for years and he really did know what he was talking about. Looking at my feet, I said, “I never said you didn’t. I never even suggested that. You don’t have to be so defensive.” He said, “well, you don’t seem to believe what I am telling you.”

So I bought the shoes, as well as a couple of other items. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth, though. In my car, I felt even more uncomfortable and irritated as I drove away. I finally called the manager and explained what happened. I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable trying on other shoes, or not buying these because otherwise I was questioning Sales Guy. He was very defensive. It could be they really are the best shoes for me, but I don’t know because I was not given a choice.

Since then, I’ve been thinking about it. I think it could be the difference between men and women shopping. When I shop, I try on multiple pairs, before choosing one. I did that with hiking boots and running shoes. I also do it with rock climbing shoes, and work shoes- until I find a brand I like. I was not given that choice here. I would have liked to try on the shoes I wanted to try on. I might have then bought what I did, but I could see the difference for myself. Usually a sales person gives you an opinion, but lets you try on what you want to try on. Then you buy what works for you.

Maybe men are different. They find the one that works and then they’re done. This Sales Guy was a young guy. Maybe most of the people who come in know what they want. Me, I was investigating.

So now I have a pair of cycling shoes. I have 30 days to return them. Or I could go back and tell them exactly what I want to try on- then decide. Or I could just keep them. Either way, I’m a little uncomfortable.

When you buy a car, do you take the salesman’s word for it, that this is the best car for you? Or do you test drive several? I like my Subaru Forester, but I can’t imaging going to the Subaru dealership and being told that I should buy the Forester with these features and it was the only model I was allowed to test drive. If memory served, I also tried the Outback and a couple of others, before choosing my little Forester.

The other thing I’m wondering is why I suddenly became mealy-mouthed and shy when I was there.

Bison Peak

2009-08-21T12:49:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I went up Bison Peak. Very enjoyable hike. It’s a 12,000 foot peak with some unusual rock formations at the top. Sadly, we did not make it to the top. The hike was about 12 miles and we probably did 8 or 9, I’m guessing. I just kind of hit the metaphorical wall, and at 4, I turned around and walked back down the trail. I didn’t get started until 12, which is always a mistake. Got my campsite packed up and left by 10, but didn’t get to the trailhead until noon. Ah well. It was a good, pleasant hike.

As it was, I turned around at 4, Got back to the car about 6 or 6:30 and home about 8:30. Its probably good I left when I did.

Wow. I hurt today.

2009-08-15T09:39:00.000-07:00

I took the last couple of days off work to recharge, and do some work around the house. Thursday I putzed around, watched tv, and did errands. I did go to the gym for about an hour and 20 minutes.

Yesterday is the reason for my pain. I did some work around the house- I mowed and pulled weeds. I started leveling the bed I started a while back. The leveling isn't so bad. It just takes sand, patience, and a level. Trouble is the last piece on each level has to be a partial piece of the concrete block. I have a big chisel and a hammer with which I went to work pounding on the line I wanted to cleave off these pieces of concrete block. The dumb things don't want to cleave down a straight line, though! I butchered one block. Not quite sure what I'll do. Might go to Lowes to ask their advice or start googling. Aag.

Last summer, my dad helped to take down a number of dead aspen trees in my back yard. We also did som tree pruning. I did not manage to get it all chopped into firewood or bundled for trash by last winter. Most of its gone now, though. I spent a few hours yesterday breaking the biggest remaining branches into firewood. To do this, I used my electric chain saw. Its a functioning chainsaw, but a small one that uses a power cord rather than oil and gas.

My arms hurt. The right one especially- I think because of the use of the chain saw. As a safety mechanism, the chain saw only works if you push up on a lever and sqeeze the handle to start it. You have to continue exerting pressure on the handle to use it- otherwise it stops. Kind of a good idea, actually. I'd hate to cut off a body part. The chances of that are decreased with this baby chain saw, because once you let it go, it stops running. I think it was the constant grip on the handle, combined with my slight push of the chain saw into each branch that pushed my muscles beyond what they were use to.

My legs hurt from all the kneeling and squatting. My back hurts from bending over and doing stuff- not an injury hurt, but a muscular hurt. It sucks to get old.

Feels good to get some stuff done, though. Its a never ending battle against grass, weeds, baby trees, and spiders. I'll leave the spiders for another post.

Unibutt

2009-08-13T11:55:00.000-07:00

I had to laugh- this is actually a term. Not in a real dictionary, but in something called the "Urban Dictionary".

Uibutt- your ass looking as though both cheeks are fused together. causing the look of one ass cheek. it is an insulting comment.

I am a well endowed woman, so I am familiar with the term "uniboob" when you wear a sports bra. I coined the term "unibutt" to myself yesterday, but laughed when I found it online.

In the 70s and 80s (probably before), my mom and others of her generation, would wear panty hose with pants. It was just something they did. Maybe it has a girdle-like effect? When I joined the business world, I wore trouser socks or knee high stockings with my pants. Recently, they've come up with footie stockings that make it look like you aren't wearing any stockings with your shoes. They are heavenly. So, comfortable! Perfect for having bare legs with skirts in the summer time.

You can generally tell the older women from the younger women just from their backsides. The younger women have fully separated butt-cheeks, while the older women sport the unibutt. I don't know if its because they are wearing panty hose under their pants, or if there is a decreased level of fat in their backside with aging. Whatever the cause, these are two distinctly different looks. Having a unibutt seems to date you every bit as much as knowing where you were when JFK died.

An interesting Saturday night

2009-08-11T13:05:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I camped on top of Kenosha Pass, in Kenosha Campground East- in part because the previous 2 campgrounds I’d tried were full, and in part because it was close to where I wanted to hike on Sunday. I did not plan on Saturday night.

Saturday night after dinner, I sat by the campfire and read. When I became sleepy (and cold), I carefully extinguished my campfire and hit the outhouse before crawling into my sleeping bag. That was about 9:45. I read for another half hour or so. Pups and I were all snuggly and sleepy, when I heard what I thought was a series of gunshots. Denny promptly crawled in my sleeping bag with me. At about midnight, we heard another couple of gunshots. Then again around 1 am and 2 am. By this time, Lucy was shaking violently and didn’t want to lie back down. She sat, looking out the window, for quite some time.

I dunno. I guess the sound could have been something else, but it was on the National Forest side, not the highway side, and the last time I heard it, it seemed to change direction on me and was coming from a more northerly direction. In the city, when you hear a sound like that, I tend to assume it’s a car back firing. The statistical probability of this being a car back firing decreased each time I heard it. I could just picture some drunk idiot chasing chipmunks or phantom bears in the middle of the night.

I tried to call someone, but had no cell phone coverage. I thought about getting up and leaving, but felt safer lying on the ground rather than being upright and moving around. By morning I figured the idiot(s) had left and that was the end to it. Trouble is, by that time, I had a splitting headache from the little sleep I’d gotten. Rather than going on the 12 mile hike I’d planned, I went back to bed. When I got up, I loafed around for several hours before going home. It was pleasant, but not planned.

When I got home that night, I called my Mom to report my safe arrival. When I told her about Saturday night, she opined I should call someone. “What if something truly awful happened?” Huh. So, Monday morning, I called the Forest Service. They duly took my information, but then told me to call the sheriff. I called the sheriff’s office and was told I would get a return call by someone. After a short spat of telephone tag, the deputy and I finally made contact this morning.

Deputy told me it’s legal to shoot in the National Forest, as long as it’s done safely. Really? Really?! She agreed with me that it was probably an intoxicated individual. She also said that all night Saturday night, the sheriff deputies and National Forest rangers take turns patrolling the national forest. Sounds like they get this kind of thing frequently enough, they increase patrols during peak usage.

Go figure.

Oh, and Denny had some fun. He saw lots of chipmunks, and did a fair amount of happy barking Sunday.

Recycling bins not recyclable?

2009-08-07T16:03:00.000-07:00

I live in a city suburb, near my work. Because my city does not have its own trash pickup, each resident is responsible for contacting one of the 25 or so trash companies and arranging pickup (and payment). Many of these companies also provide recycling pick-up for an additional fee.

When I moved here, 3 years ago, I chose a company that a neighbor used. About a year later I switched when I observed the trash truck picked up my recycling. So I moved onto company number 2.

2 years ago, when I contacted Company No. 2, they advised that trash bins were not required for trash, but they were required for recycling. They required I purchase their bins at a cost of $15 each. These bins are hard plastic bins, without lids, with the company’s name emblazoned on all sides of the container. The containers are maybe 25-30 inches long, 16 inches wide, and 15-20” tall. I purchased two of them.

Now I live in Colorado. The weather here can be unpredictable, with high, gusty winds. The fact that these bins don’t have lids has always bothered me, but it seems to be the policy of the company. Company No. 1’s bins did not have lids, either. You cannot put the recycling out the night before, otherwise, your recycling would be blowing all over the neighborhood. As it stands, you have that risk placing it during the day time. Because we don’t sort our recycling, it takes a certain amount of strategic placement in the bins to ensure the milk jugs and junk mail don’t blow around- like placing glass on top.

I had reason to call the company yesterday because my pick-up had been missed. During our conversation, I learned the company now has much bigger bins, with wheels and a lid they will sell me for $80 plus a $30 delivery charge. But they won’t take the small bins back. “People use them for storage”, the manager I spoke with stated. “What? They have no lids, their unwieldy, and their unsightly. What do people store in them?” I was a little stunned.

I pointed out to her, that her company is supposedly big on recycling, but they will not recycle these plastic bins. If I go with another company, or chose to upgrade to the larger size, I have to throw these dumb plastic bins away? That’s illogical.

Origin of a name

2009-08-03T15:25:00.000-07:00

I thought I would explain the origin of my name. Unlike others, like The Happy Hospitalist or The Hungry Addict, etc, my name is not really associated with one thing or another. My pseudonym does have a history, though.

I went to college in the late 80s/early 90s at a small liberal arts college. This was before common use of personal computers and before the internet. I graduated with my BA in 1992.

At my college, we had a computer lab with computers that were connected to each other through a mainframe. While they were there for us to do word processing and programming and the like, the computers also had a few applications, courtesy of their mainframe. One of those applications was the Bulletin Board System (“BBS”). The BBS was strictly for the written word. There were no digital cameras at the time, either.

Posters could choose a nom de plume, if they wanted, or they could choose to use their own name. Regardless, their posting included their name (voluntary), their Social Security Number (involuntary) and whatever they wanted to write about. Most of us chose a nom de plume and the BBS was the sight of many early literary exploits. To this day, I am amazed the college administration never policed the BBS because some of the literary stylings were frankly pornographic. Others folks chose to write sappy poetry or simply spar verbally with each other.

You might say we were very early bloggers. There was Bilbo, and Zirelda, and Whiteline, and about a dozen other faithful users. Odd- their faces come to mind, but I’m drawing a blank with their real and fake names.

When I was in college, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was still a popular book series. Being of an odd turn of mind, I chose Ford Perfect as my alternate ego. Someone later pointed out to me that Ford Prefect was the actual character’s name, but by then I’d grown accustomed to my title and chose not to change. Most of the time, I was called Ford Perfect, or affectionately, Fordo.

Weekend

2009-08-03T15:07:00.000-07:00

Saturday I was supposed to go on a hike, but ended up misreading the meet time. I got there an hour too late. And of course, up at that altitude, there’s zero cell phone coverage. Ah well. I took the dogs for a walk and I mowed my grass, edged the grass, and weed-wacked. It took me 2 and a half hours.

Sunday I took a 10 mile hike. I walked back into Chicago Lakes, which is above Echo Lake, near Idaho Springs. Beautiful scenery. I’ll post pictures later. Really, really pretty. It was 1,000 foot elevation change from 10,600 to about 11,600. When I got home, I called Parents, watched Ice Road Truckers, took a shower and went to Joe’s Crab Shack for dinner.

Today I’m sore and achy, but it’s my own fault. Both shoulders hurt, back hurts, abs hurt, and knees hurt. Even the backs of my legs hurt- I got sunburned. How do you get sunburned just on the backs of your legs? Dogs are walking a little slowly, too. In spite of the pain, the hike made me feel a little better. Not much, but a little. There’s something about working your body to exhaustion that helps to clear the mind.

I’m working on babying myself. I’m taking St. Johns Wart and Omega 3 fish oils. I’m trying to exercise and get sleep. I’m trying to surround myself with feel-good things and people. Kind people.

Maybe this started because my best friend won’t talk to me. Maybe I feel isolated. Maybe my job is not as fulfilling as I’d hoped it would be. Maybe I’m worried about the loss of my job when the new boss comes on board in December. Just because current boss-lady finds us all important, doesn’t mean the new one will. Maybe I haven’t been exercising enough. Odds are its all of the above. I just have to baby myself until something changes.

Employee dies at his desk

2009-07-31T16:11:00.000-07:00

Do you remember reading a news story about an employee who died at work? According to the article, an editor of medical texts had a heart attack at work at his desk on a Monday. He was not noticed until the weekend when the cleaning crew questioned why he was at work. The boss wanted to know how everyone missed the fact that he died. Turns out he kept to himself and kept absorbed in his work most days.

Turns out this story is fake. Its an urban legend.

It also the way I feel. Around me, happy chatter goes on throughout the day. None of it is with me, unless I start it. I truly get the feeling that if I failed to show up, no one would notice for days. And days.

Same thing probably at home. I have oodles of friendly neighbors, but no one would notice anything was wrong for who knows how long.

Yes, I know I'm wallowing.

I'm very unhappy

2009-07-30T16:13:00.002-07:00

And I’m not sure why. I think it’s been building for awhile. I haven’t really got a good day’s work done for a couple of months. Last week and the week before, I found myself needing something to make me happy so I went looking for flowers. Three weeks ago, I saw a NP and a PT for shoulder/arm/back pain. They pretty much said call Ergonomics and call us if you’re not better. Not very helpful and I still hurt.

I have a difficult time going to sleep and a difficult time getting up in the morning. One day I find myself thinking no one gives a damn about me and no one cares- I have no friends. The next day I remember I do and call myself silly.

No one at work seems to think anything is wrong. I think part of it’s because I’m the Auditor and I rarely talk to anyone anyway. I’m relatively shy and quiet and reserved, normally. I’m not crying or anything, now I just don’t care about anything. I think some sympathy and kindness would be nice.

I don’t really feel like going to the gym, but I’m trying to because I know it’s the one thing likely to make me feel better. Its beautiful, glorious mountain weather, and I don’t seem to care about doing anything in it.

I feel hopeless and unhappy. My job provides me with no joy. My home provides me with no joy. People provide me with no joy. What I would really like to do is just hang out with someone for a few days, with no expectations. That’s really inconceivable, though. People have their own families, obligations, responsibilities, and don’t need to hold my hand.

I do occasionally think about death, but it’s just a fleeting thought. Nothing constant. No plan formulated, of course. Just this general thought that the peace of oblivion would be more comfortable than life.

I watch myself and for the last 2 days, my face is completely expressionless- wooden. I talk to someone on the phone. It usually animates me, but it’s just an act this time. As soon as I hang up, my face returns to the flat aspect and I sit staring at the desk trying to come up with something to engage my attention.

All I really want to do is go home and go to bed. But I know exercise will eventually make me feel better and the company of people might make me feel better. At least that’s the intelligent thought. If I eat well, exercise, get plenty of sleep, take vitamins, and surround myself with good people, it should get better. This too shall pass. Hopefully.

Training

2009-07-30T16:13:00.001-07:00

On the other side of my wall at work sits our Compliance Trainer. She has been responsible for making sure everyone in the whole company takes the Compliance training. The training is considered so important at our company, that if not completed by the deadline, personnel, including doctors, will be put on suspension without pay. Oddly enough, it has never come to that.

This morning a gastro doc called her. I guess they’d been emailing back and forth and somehow he managed to take a training he was not required to. How do these people make it through medical school if they cannot follow directions?

She was so calm, I had to congratulate her. Apparently he told her he was the busiest and most important doc in the region and didn’t have time for this. You could just tell he wanted her to give him a pass and tell him he didn’t have to do the training. She did offer him an extension, which I guess he chose not to take.

By the end of the call, she was walking him through the application to take the required trainings. Apparently, he did demand that the Senior Compliance Officer call him personally to apologize for wasting his time. The Compliance Trainer is putting in the request to our corporate offices, but we’re all giggling about it.

Not sleeping well

2009-07-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't been sleeping well the last few weeks. Its probably a combination of the heat and not very consistent exercise. Because its summer, I tend to split my time between walking the dogs, yard work, and exercise. While I guess mowing the grass for 2-3 hours is pretty good exercise, it doesn't increase my heart rate and exhaust me like spending 2 hours at the gym. Sigh. But yard work is a necessary evil. If you own a house- you have to take care of the yard.

Yesterday I was supposed to meet Parents in Trinidad. Mom woke up with vertigo, though, so we decided to postpone until Sunday or next weekend. By 9 pm last night, her vertigo had turn in to vomiting, so that scrubbed today, too.

Yesterday I did manage to get something significant done, however. I have two beds between my entry way stairs and the house. The border for this two-level bed was pine logs. Aside from disliking them, they had begun to deteriorate in the sun. About a month ago, I started trying to remove them. The task was not as easy as I had thought because the logs were nailed together with big iron pikes. So I did not make progress- until yesterday.

Yesterday, I started digging the beds out. I put the dirt on the stairs and the entry way. Hopefully I won't have any visitors. Digging the dumb things down far enough did do the trick, luckily, because I pulled them all out. Yeah!

Humid, hot, and I drunk a shitload of water. Even so, I felt dehydrated and like I got my butt kicked.

Went to Home Depot and Lowes until I found suitable stone for the border. I found something that should work- although I'm going to have to break up a couple of pieces with a masonry chisel to fill in a gap. Four blocks don't go all the way across, you see, and five blocks won't fit.

Now I've got to figure out how to level the dirt to place the blocks. My two beds are now one bed on a slope. To make them two beds again should be interesting.

So. The logs were taken out yesterday. And I am so glad! A mid-project just looks like a tacky mess.

Oh, and one other reason I wanted to dig out the beds has to do with the sprinklers. One of the evergreen bushes I plan to pull out under the front windows, is covering a sprinkler head that is doing very little good right now. I plan to modify that sprinkler head to a drip system- run drip line to whatever I put in place of the ever green. Because I've dug out the two beds, I can also run drip line to them- under the foundation of the entry way. Pain in the butt, but will be much more helpful then having to water something by hand all summer.

So. No hiking this weekend, but some good work. Today I hope to take dogs for a walk or two, go to the gym, and get drip line, sand or gravel, and liquid nails to finish this little project.

Evolution of medicine- ADHD- misdiagnosed?

2009-07-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

Ever notice how much ADHD has increased in the last 20 years? According to the CDC, incidents of ADHD have increased 3% per year since 1997. That’s a little odd, don’t you think? My theory is that the disorder has been massively misdiagnosed and children are being over-medicated. I have no hard evidence to support this theory, though and will address it again after I have a chance to run a search through EBSco or one of the other databases. I can’t help thinking that it’s an easy diagnosis and an easy fix to put disruptive children on medication. Rather than putting children in sports and providing better parenting, our culture takes the path of least resistance and assigns a label to a child.

Sigh. I’m ranting.

Asthma and allergies- evolution part II

2009-07-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

When I was a child, I was diagnosed with asthma- in the mid 70s. At the time (per Mom), my lung capacity was 40% of normal. I was put on theophylline- or Theodur. I think I took 1200 mgs twice a day from age 7 to age 22, when I weaned myself off of it. I was also put on something called Breathine, and later an albuterol inhaler each to supplement the Theodur. My parents were also told swimming would be the best thing for me, so for the next 10 years, I was a competitive swimmer. One coach I had in 9th grade told my parents he was worried about me because I always looked blue.

In my mid-30s, I went searching for a good allergist. When I had difficulty breathing, it felt to me more like a problem with my throat than my lungs. But of course, from age 22 to 34 or 35, I’d been put on Azmacort, Singulair, Advair, and whatever the latest and greatest was. My research showed I might have something called Vocal Cord Dysfunction (VCD), which caused me to cough especially when I had sinus symptoms- allergies, cold, crying, etc.

Sure enough, the allergist did 2 things. He put me on a computerized spirometry which showed the characteristics of VCD. He also put me through a methacholine challenge which showed no trace of asthma. Yeah! No more albuterol. The Flonase seems to keep the VCD symptoms mostly at bay.

I wonder if I ever had asthma. I’m guessing I did. I can remember wheezing. I had pneumonia a few times as a child, etc. But somewhere as a young adult, I grew out of it. But it makes you wonder. If they could do then what they can do now . . . .

The Theodur was not pleasant. Up until about 5 years ago, I have always had insomnia- as a child, teenager, adult- when I was happy and when I was not. Didn’t matter. Theophylline is basically caffeine. Research has since shown it did no good for asthma. (Boy do my folks feels bad about that.) So I was on something that didn’t help my breathing, but did keep me awake. Even after I stopped it, I’m thinking my inability to sleep was a learned response. I’d spent so many years not knowing how to sleep, that it was natural for me to be awake until 2 or 3 am, no matter how tired I was. Mom tried me on yoga and even got me powdered tryptophan in the late 80s/early 90s (I seem to remember reading about problems with it- wish I knew where I read it).

But I digress. We know more about asthma then we used to. At least when I was a child we knew it was an actual biological condition. I guess in the 50s and 60s, they still thought it was a psychological condition caused by poor parenting. They would actually take children away from their parents thinking that the parenting caused this psychological condition.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/info/asthma/asthma-history.php

We know better now, although when you read the headings of the last few years of the various asthma, allergy, and immunology journal articles, you can see that they are still guessing as to its causes- from mother’s weight to mother’s anxiety, to a child’s home proximity to a freeway, etc.

I guess my dad experienced some of the same. He has lots of allergies, too. When he was a boy in the 40s and 50s, he would miss school sometimes because he was sick from allergies. He also went through pneumonia a few times. Far from being sympathetic and helpful, some of his teachers actually made snarky comments about his absence. His allergies were all in his head. It was psychosomatic, etc. Poor kiddo.

My allergies don’t seem to have anything to do with my lungs anymore. I do have the allergic rhinitis and allergic itching. The current allergist has me on Flonase for the nose, Zyrtec (up to 2 tabs 2 x a day) for both my nose and itching, plus famotidine 2 x a day to limit my hives and itching. Then there’s the Protopic and Triamcinolone Acetonide for when I do itch. Chuckle. I sound like a basket case. But I’ve been allergic and itching since I was a child. I have scars all over from itching.

I have read that allergies are increasing by leaps and bounds in our population, so I can’t help wondering what it means. Does it mean we are over diagnosing it? Does it mean the growth of our society is causing an over production of chemicals? Our factories and cars are causing an over abundance of greenhouse gases which are pushing certain plants into areas and seasons they never existed before?

I digress again, but did you know that literature used to say poison ivy could not grow over 4,000 feet and did not exist in at least 6 different states- including Colorado? Well, it is now found in Colorado- and not just the lower elevations. They are finding it in Boulder and other mountainous areas of the state. It’s my understanding that the greenhouse affect has caused a warmer environment that has allowed poison ivy and other plants to flourish in places they never have before. So could that have something to do with the explosion of allergies?

Continuing pain and evolution of medicine- broken bones

2009-07-24T14:44:00.001-07:00

My shoulder and arm still hurt periodically. Not just when I work, but also when I mow the grass and when I ride my bicycle. I think it has to do with leaning forward and rounding my shoulders. Sigh.

My mother has had back pain most of her life. When she was in her 20’s, she slipped on a wet spot on her kitchen floor and broke her back. Family lore has it that she was carrying a coffee cup at the time and when she woke up on the floor some time later, she had not spilled the coffee. At any rate, she went to the ER and spent the next 4+ weeks flat on her back in a hospital bed. I think she broke her sacrum.

This was in the 60s and at that time, PT was not the discipline it is now. A physical therapist talked to her when she was released from the hospital, but she was a poor college student and her health insurance did not cover PT.

About 20 years ago, she saw a PT who gave her some back exercises and told her one of her legs was shorter than the other. She was provided a lift for her shoe.

Now she’s in her late 60s. They know more about PT. For various reasons, her doc recently sent her to a PT, who she is seeing 2 x a week. He thinks her pelvis was twisted with her original injury and that is what caused one of her legs to appear to be shorter than the other. Muscles have contracted.

The evolution of medicine blow me away sometimes.

After the hike

2009-07-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

Were tired. Not too bad, though. Little man was limping last night and is still limping some this morning. I picked him off the bed and carried him downstairs. He ran outside, had his treats and now has spent the last 45 minutes on the couch barking at squirrels. Lucy is sunbathing. She is none the worse for the wear, although she is not nagging me for a walk this morning as is her custom.

Last night, walking down the mountain, my back hurt, but felt better when I got to the car. So far so good.

Today I need to do some shopping, yard work and housework. Oh, and I brought the lap top home to finish up a couple of reports from work. We'll see what I actually get done.

Lovely day regardless.

Mount Bierstadt

2009-07-18T21:19:00.000-07:00

Today I did Mount Bierstadt. 14,060 ft. The trail starts from Guanella Pass at 11669 feet. Because the trail starts from tree line at such a high elevation, Bierstadt is believed to be one of the easiest 14ers. Its about 7 miles roundtrip.

I started the trail absurdly late. One of those lazey Saturdays when you get up and waffle about what to do during the day. I finally left home at noon and left the trail head at 2:30 pm. Given the late hour, I figured I'd go as far as I could for as long as the weather held. The Colorado mountains tend to get afternoon storms that spring up out of nowhere. The storms bring with them thunder and lightening that can be quite dangerous above tree line. You are literally the highest point around.

The weather held, oddly enough, and I reached the summit about 6:30 pm. I got back to my car about 7:45 pm. The dogs did fine, although I had to constantly scold Lucy. At some point when we were on the peak with little to no vegetation, I let the dogs off leash. Up that high, there is grass, rock, scree, marmots, and birds. Very little else. The marmots pop out of the rock and chirp. Lucy went after a few of them. I scolded her each time, and she gradually quit the bad behavior, although it was obvious she wanted to chase them.

On the way up, Lucy was in the lead and I had to keep calling her to slow down. On the way down, it was Denny in the lead. You could tell he wanted to get home. He really did quite well on the mountain, although the last bit of the ascent, he kept asking to be held. He's only 16 pounds, but I didn't relish caring the little shithead the rest of the way. He did just fine, though.

I was glad I got down before dark. Although I'd brought a headlamp with me, I didn't really want to use it.

Sadly, even though I continuously scanned the ground on the way back, and checked the beginning of the trailhead, I could find no sign of the dogs' water dish. Because this was such a short hike, I left the pack and brought a pile jacket and water bottle. I stuffed various and sundry things I though I might need in my pockets, including a gortex water bowl I bring with me. Its light-weight and stuffable. It fell out of my pocket at the beginning of the hike, and I'd hoped that someone would leave it at the beginning of the hike for me. No such luck. That's the second one I've lost.

Because I'd brought a wide-mouthed water bottle, dogs were able to drink from the cap, as well as from the creek when we crossed it, so we managed.

I got back to the car, drove back down the mountain and back home. Called Dad to wish him happy birthday on the way. When I was almost home, I called Joe's Crab Shack for dinner. Tasty. Probably added on several of the calories I managed to burn off this afternoon.

Dogs are sacked out now. I'm watching the Biography channel while surfing the net. Not a bad day.

A kind gesture

2009-07-17T09:36:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, a friend of mine had surgery- a laparoscopic hysterectomy. Her recovery time was 2 weeks. So I volunteered to take her two Australian Shepherds with Lucy and Denny and I to the dog park each day. It wasn’t too much trouble for me- I was going anyway and her home is on my way.

At the end of the two weeks, she went to visit a friend in Washington state and they took a trip up to Canada one day. Did you know Canada has wineries and vineyards? I certainly didn’t. Aside from the traditional vineyards, I guess they also make various fruit wines. She came back with like 10 bottles.

She asked that I wait for her in the parking lot of the dog park Wednesday. When she got there, she had a gift for me- a bottle of wine and several chocolates. The card was touching and the timing completely apropos. It gave me that warm fuzzy feeling I needed.

Bicycle yesterday

2009-07-17T09:19:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I bicycled to work. It’s a pretty easy 7 mile ride one way. Trouble is, on the way in, bent over and gripping my handlebars, my shoulder started to hurt. Quite a bit. I made it to work, in part by riding with one hand.

At work, the shoulder and back got worse- bent over my work and desk all day. I found myself gasping and tearing up periodically throughout the day. Didn’t leave work until about 7 mostly because I dreaded going through the pain going home.

At about 6:30, I went to the locker room and changed clothes and completely broke down. The pain itself wasn’t terribly severe- maybe a 6 or 7, but the muscle spasms and I’m guessing the other stresses are just making me all stiff and sore. I was glad no one was around to hear me bawling like a baby. I was also grateful for the sunglasses. For a good half hour, I lay there on the bench and tried to decide if I wanted to call someone to come pick me up. Ultimately I didn’t.

I unlocked my bike and started home. 1/3 of the ride I did riding with one hand, which allowed me to sit up more fully. 1/3 I managed not too badly with 2 hands. The final 1/3 I walked. I got off my bike and walked on the sidewalk. But I made it home and did nothing but watch tv when I got home. Lucy was not too happy about it because I didn’t even take her to the park.

Sigh. Is this what happens when you fall into mid-life? You start falling apart? I’ll be 40 this October. Is this what the rest of life is going to be like?

Camping in a bit of an unusual place

2009-07-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

Saturday I climbed Cottonwood Peak, a 13er in the Sangre de Cristo range. Friday and Saturday night I stayed at a little campground and hot springs called Valley View. A lovely little place, they have campgrounds for tents and rvs, running water with showers and toilets, and several cabins, all for about the same price as a National Forest campground. They are also a naturist campground- that is to say, clothing is optional. I'd never been there before, nor had I been to a place like it before.

I knew it was clothing optional when I went there, but someone had told me about it and it sounded charming. Why did I go? I dunno, something new, I guess. I have to say, the people there were friendlier than any private, National Forest, BLM, State or National Park, or KOA campground I'd ever been to.

When I got there Friday night, it was already 10 after 10. Considering they closed at 10, I was lucky they let me in- I'd been delayed by the corgi, if you recall. Anyway, I tiptoed around by flashlight trying not to disturb anyone- you can't really tell which tents are occupied by sleeping people. I ended up taking 6 trips back and forth to by car to unpack everything.

The next morning, I walked back to my car. A couple stopped me and made much over Lucy and Denny. Turns out they were my tent neighbors and they'd seen Lucy peeking out that morning while I slept. They were very nice- Cissy and Art- and also fully clothed the entire time I visited with them that weekend. I can't say the same for everyone.

Occassionally, I saw naked people. The immediate impulse is to tell yourself, "don't look, don't look, don't look" because you don't want to be seen staring. So you do the opposite. But then they say "hi" to you! So you have to look at them and say "hi" back. Chuckle. By Sunday, I became somewhat comfortable with the occasional nudity, although not so comfortable that I utilized the hot springs, even in a bathing suit. I did, however, become quite friendly and chatted with everyone I met, clothed or unclothed.

There were children at this campground, too. The children were all fully clothed. Its my understanding that in naturist or nudist communities, parents teach their children, and believe themselves, that nudity is completely natural. Art, the fellow in the campsite next to me described how he felt swimming or bathing in a hot spring with children. "I'm not a pervert, but it just feels wrong to be naked and swimming with children." I chuckled and told him that the fact he feels uncomfortable proves he's not.

I must admit, though, I was a little discomfited by the free condoms in the office when I checked in. I mean, they're trying to naturalize nudity. They make you sign stuff against lewd behavior, but then they give away condoms.

Ah well. I may go back. as I said, they were very friendly, and the place was charming.

Sister

2009-07-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

This whole situation with Good Friend has made me wonder if it doesn’t have some similarity to my Sister.

My Sister is a school teacher who works in Dallas. She’s not a very nice person- or at least that’s what I’ve thought for decades. She’s 7 years older than I am. I can’t remember clearly everything that upset me about her except for a child’s memory of her yelling and screaming and saying hateful things to my parents- especially my Mom. I have to admit, most of my impressions of Sister may be a disported picture of what Mom or Dad told me. I don’t recall, if I ever knew, what kinds of things she said, but my mom would be sobbing. These are some of the things I remember about my Sister.

1. When I was a child on Christmas Eve, my Sister and her boyfriend Evan were at the house. I remember the tree. My Parents were there. I kissed Parents good night and then approached Sister to kiss her good night. She laughed. A mouth-wide open belly laugh. I don’t know what she thought was so funny, but I remember how hurt I was that it was the reaction I got when I tried to kiss her good night. I never tried again.

2. When Sister was 16, she graduated high school and started college. The first semester was fine. She lived in the dorm at college. At start of second semester, Parents gave her a check to pay for tuition, room and board. After paying for school, Sister cashed the check in and lived on it for the semester. She had a hard time explaining why she had no grades. Parents had intended to pay for her schooling. Since she decided not to go, they bought her a condo of similar value instead. Sister later put herself through college.

3. According to my Grandmother (Mom’s mother), Sister told her and my Dad that the reason I moved to Phoenix was because I wanted to find my “real parents.” Neither my Grandmother or Dad told my Mom. And it wasn’t true, since it never occurred to me.

4. Sister was visiting my Mom’s family in Oklahoma. As usual she was mouthing off to Aunt and Grandmother about how awful Parents and particular Mom are. Aunt and Grandmother finally had enough. They told her that Mom and Parents had done a lot for her and there was no reason why she should be so nasty. Sister was offended per Grandmother and never went back to visit. I’m not sure Grandmother ever met her great-granddaughter. Or if she did, it was only as an infant. When Grandmother got sick and everyone in the family went back for her 80th birthday, Sister was the only absence. When Grandmother died, I sent flowers to the funeral in my name. I also sent flowers to the funeral for Sister.

5. When Niece, who’s 16 now, was younger, Mom asked Sister what she would like for her birthday. Sister responded that she would like a trampoline. Parents ordered an $800 trampoline for their granddaughter. They paid $400 up front for the trampoline and the other $400 after it was completed. When the trampoline was delivered, it included an invoice for $400- so that was apparently what sister thought it cost. She turned around and sold the trampoline for $400.

6. I last saw Sister and Niece with Parents at Christmas. Sister was taking lots of pictures. I don’t particularly like having pictures taken of me. I definitely don’t like posing in cheesy poses for such shots. I tolerated it for a while one day at lunch and then asked that she stop. Niece also saw my discomfort and asked her mom to stop. Sister acted offended like there was something wrong with me. She wouldn’t say another word to me that trip.

Sister was born to Mom, but adopted by Dad. For decades, Sister has been angry that no one asked her if she wanted to be adopted.

The funny thing is, I’ve seen Sister with strangers and she’s oddly sweet and sensitive and helpful. I’m aware that many of my issues with Sister are a reaction to other’s experience with her- Parents, Grandmother, Aunt, etc. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen the real her. Parents did say once that the reason Sister is the way she is, is because she was a premature baby in the 1960s. She was never allowed to bond with her Mom after birth. I guess studies have shown some mental/emotional problems can result from the lack of bonding immediately after birth. She’s almost 47 though.

A couple of years ago, in the car, I suggested to Parents that I would only come visit for Christmas, and they could spend the week between Christmas and New Years with Sister and Niece. I didn’t really want to spend that much time with Sister. Mom’s response was “she wasn’t that bad last time.” Or, “she was much better last time.” She has said both before, so I’m not sure which one she said this time. I let it sink in a bit and then said, “Listen to how that sounded. Not- ‘we had a lovely visit’ or ‘it was so nice to see them’, but ‘she wasn’t that bad last time.’” No one said another word until we got to our destination.

I can’t help seeing parallels between my relationship with Sister and fight with Good Friend. When either or both sides are irreversibly hurt, the silence becomes toxic. The reasons why have been long forgotten, if they ever really existed. Sister may be a good person. She’s raised a wonderful, talented, intelligent and sweet daughter. She has a house that is very nice, in a nice neighborhood, and is almost paid off. She has a master’s degree and has been a biology teacher for decades. She’s made some poor choices along the way, but haven’t we all?

Sometimes I think I would like to have a bare-the-soul conversation with Sister so we could get past some of this. Trouble is, I think I need to wait until Parents are gone. Sister way of closing herself off from people who disagree with her or hurt her is not so dissimilar from what Good Friend is doing or what I’ve done in the past. I worry that if I broach such a discussion, she will retaliate by not speaking to my Parents again. While I wouldn’t mind not talking to her again, Parents would be hurt and sad. No matter what horrible things Sister has done or said to them in the past, she is still their daughter. They don’t want to lose that.

I wish I had a Sister.

The house

2009-07-14T11:14:00.001-07:00

So, I was in Leadville yesterday and thought I would stop to look at a house I’d see in Realtor.com. The house was a 2 BD/1 BA house built in 1888 and listed for $49,000. The house was boarded up so I couldn’t really tell anything, but Leadville! It would be a marvelous place for a second home. Its got mountains that are so close its unbelievable. Truly God’s country. Its also got a lovely little main street with historic buildings being used as restaurants, coffee shops, antique stores, and the like. The town has this nice mixture of old-timers and tourists and businesses that cater to both. The town also has a hospital, a movie theatre, a swimming pool, a college, etc. Beautiful little town. I figure even if the house is a dump, it would be a wonderful base to hike from and I could take my time fixing it up.

Hmm. I didn’t bet on fact. I talked to someone yesterday at the place I ate lunch. She said it needed a new foundation, a new roof, new electrical, and new plumbing. Chuckle.

Today, I called the realtor. What a nasty woman. She informs me the house is not for sale for $49,000, but rather $57,000. The house has not been inhabited since the 1970s. In the 1970s, the owner asked that the house be removed from the city water system since he didn’t want to continue paying for water. The roof has fallen into the kitchen. The foundation is something called mudfill. A typical foundation in Leadville, its basically wood built directly on the ground. Over the years the wood rots.

She doesn’t think the house has much or any electrical. Chuckle. Of course, it will be difficult to tell since the house is boarded up and will have to be viewed by flashlight. And all for the low price of $57,000. Oh, and the house is owned by 2 or 3 brothers who are not open to negotiation.

Leadville is also a Superfund site. Apparently because of the big molybdenum, gold, silver, etc mining that took place there from the 1800s up until 1987, water that filtered through the mine tailings has increased the toxicity of land and water for everyone in the city. According to one article I read, school children are tested annually for the level of lead in their bodies. When the EPA came in and declared the whole city a Superfund site, great changes were made to divert toxic water and make things safer. I won’t pretend to know everything, not can I separate fact from fiction, since I quit reading when I found out how bad the house was. I did read some houses were built on mine tailings and it wasn’t unusual to find molybdenum and mine tailings in children’s sand boxes. Go figure.

Anyway. The town looks like a lovely little town. That’s about all I can say right now.

Shoulder pain

2009-07-14T10:39:00.001-07:00

My shoulder has been hurting for almost a month now. The left shoulder, it occasionally hurts in my upper arm and neck. It almost always only hurts when I’m sitting at my desk and occasionally in the car. It does not hurt walking, running, hiking, cycling, and the like. It also wakes me up from sleep sometimes- when I roll over to either side or my stomach. I can sleep on my back though.

I’ve been using a heating pad at work for about 3 weeks now. I also tried a massage. Both helped for awhile, but that all.

A week and a half ago, I went to see one of our NPs. As I suspected, there wasn’t anything she could do, but she did send me to PT.

Today I saw the PT. He thinks, as do I, that the shoulder pain is connected to my back. I broke my back as a child- a compression fracture of T10 and/or T11, but it wasn’t noticed until I was a teenager. I think it probably happened when I fell off the horse. My back started hurting at times, but I never complained much. I was a stoic kid.

Anyway, I have some kyphosis and lordosis as well as some scoliosis. Over the last 10 years, I think my inactivity has made things worse. At least I never suffered the muscle spasms I do now occasionally. I am trying to correct that, but it’s a slow process. Sigh.

Anyway, the PT thinks my shoulder pain is caused by stooped shoulders. In general, my posture is worse when I sit than when I stand. We discussed various exercises. We also discussed what I do and what I probably shouldn’t do at the gym. Anything that pushes my shoulders together in front and anything like a bench press that focuses on my chest is probably a no-no. Anything that will squeeze my shoulders together and force me to straighten is probably good. We also discussed what might be bad about mountain climbing and cycling and how to compensate. So with that in mind, I have a plan. He thinks that if I work on my back, it will improve my shoulder pain. He also suggested I call Workplace Health and Safety and have them come evaluate my desk and computer. They’re coming tomorrow.

The bad thing is, there is absolutely nothing that can be done, he thinks, to break up the calcification in my back to reverse the damage already done. The best we can hope for is to keep things from progressing.

A rescued corgi

2009-07-14T10:38:00.000-07:00

Friday night, I was on my way to my campground. My journey took me down Highway 285 and over Kenosha Pass. Just off Kenosha pass, 285 is a 2 lane highway with a near nonexistent shoulder. A corgi was walking on the shoulder in the direction I was going.

I wasn’t sure what I’d seen at first, put I popped a u-ey and went back. I stopped my car across from the corgi, and half on the road. I put my blinkers on, got out of the car, and ran across the road. I swear that little dog looked glad to see me. She was wet and looked exhausted. She let me pick her up and I waited to cross the road. I put her in my back seat and she didn’t say a thing. My two dogs stayed up front in the passenger seat.

I drove until I could do another u-turn and then drove back the direction the little dog had been walking. I stopped at the first ranch I came to. As I was stopping my car, a woman came walking around a barn accompanied by at least 3 corgis and 2 cats. I got out and said, “Oh! I’m so glad you have corgis. Is this one yours?” I opened the back door of the car and the woman say, “Well Haley . . . ?” She told me her husband had taken stock to an upper pasture earlier that day and she thinks the little dog followed her husband’s four-wheeler.

I left the little dog with her and went on my way. I was so happy I’d found her owner.

Dominant Agressive

2009-07-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

So Parents have two dogs- a Basenji mix name Ruthie and a Lab mix named Chloe. Ruthie is about a year older that my dog and also a female. Both the Ruthie and my dog Lucy show dominant characteristics, but the Basenji is dominant aggressive. Since Parents got Chloe, I’ve seen Ruthie grab Chloe’s jaw in her jaw. She’s not mean about it, and Chloe lets her do it- it’s apparently a dominance display.

I think Ruthie has tried to do that to Lucy and Lucy’s attitude is “screw you”.

About a year ago, before Parents got Chloe, and when they still had their old dog, Ruthie attacked Old Dog. Old Dog wasn’t moving from her bed much at the time, and Basenji really attacked her. Several puncture wounds and vet had to be called. Parents solved problem by flagrantly treating Old Dog like top dog- making Ruthie wait until Old Dog got out of the car first, giving Old Dog treats first, etc.

When Parents got Chloe, they deliberately got a laid-back sweet breed that Ruthie could boss around. They let Ruthie on the bed, but not Chloe, etc. All is fine usually- Ruthie and Chloe play together, etc.

The problems occur when Lucy comes to visit or they come to visit me. Lucy and Ruthie play together, but Ruthie feels the need to show dominance, and like I said- Lucy won’t put up with that.

Back in March, Ruthie attacked Lucy and Lucy ended up with several bites on her neck- one big enough for me to put my pinky through. Vet put her on antibiotics.

Fourth of July weekend, I was visiting parents- I got there about 12:30 Thursday night. As soon as we walked in the door, Ruthie growled at Lucy. We all went to bed. About 6 am, Mom opened my bedroom door to let my dogs out. Chloe ran in. My Mom was leaning over trying to get Chloe to come out of the bedroom, when Ruthie attacked Lucy again. Unfortunately, since Mom was bending over, Ruthie bit my Mom. 8-10 puncture wounds on her arm. At 69 years old, Mom bruises easily and her skin is beginning to thin. Took her to Urgent care where she got a week’s worth of Augmentin.

We spent the rest of the weekend grumping at Ruthie anytime she got close to Lucy and growled. When playing, Ruthie will be all wiggly and loose. At other times, she comes up to Lucy, gets all stiff, and then strikes- fast. Much of the time, my dad doesn’t seem to think Ruthie is doing anything wrong. He points out the fact that Ruthie lying down to play is favorable to Ruthie where as Lucy is showing dominance because she never does that. Sigh. Trouble is, Lucy never attacks Ruthie.

Part of our strategy Fourth of July weekend also involved not petting or playing with either dog. Ruthie would get dominant aggressive anytime I pet Lucy- or anyone else did. So we tried to put a stop to it by not petting either dog.

We got back Sunday night. Monday we went to the dog park. There were two different times when an aggressive (Basenji/Jack Russell mix) or goofy (chocolate lab) barked at Lucy. Lucy let it happen a couple times, and then she went after the dog with teeth bared. The Basenji/Jack Russell owners apologized and left with their dog. With the chocolate lab, we were already leaving. Both times, Lucy got in trouble.

Tuesday night, a male Chinese Crested (hairless) dog growled at Lucy. She went after him. Later, a 5 month old Lab-Husky mix tried to play with her and she grumped at him. She also got in trouble both of these times. I worry that my sweet Lucy is now on the defensive. None of this has happened before. Lucy has never acted aggressive towards any dog.

I wonder if Lucy in part is being aggressive at the dog park because she sees it as her territory. Thursday, I called her a few times and insisted she come to me and sit (even when she was playing with someone) to enforce the idea that I’m top dog in our pack. No incidents happened that night, so keep your fingers crossed.

I have another, older dog at home- Denny, aka Shithead. Lucy has never displayed dominance toward him. I’m hoping that’s a good sign. And her aggression at the dog park never seems to start with her, but rather is in response to another dog. That’s not an excuse. I’m just hoping it will be easier to address that the Dominant Aggressive behavior. It’s almost like she’s on the defensive after seeing Ruthie.

Still not sure what to do about the Basenji my Parents have. All the dog behavior websites I read said to get Aggressive or Dominant Aggressive dogs to a dog trainer post haste. I can’t make parents do that. I did order 3 books from Amazon, though. One is about changing your behavior for your dog, one is on training dog on dog aggressive dogs, and one on is about understanding your dog’s behavior. My family members are big readers. I’ll peruse the books then give them to Parents. Hopefully they’ll help with Ruthie, and Lucy.

Oh, and Parents are coming to visit next weekend. They’re bringing their dogs. They plan to leave their dogs with me while they go visit friends. I’ll let you know how that goes. Hope my books get here by then.

Do you prefer a female doctor for some exams?

2009-07-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

Do you prefer a female doctor for some exams? Like gynecological/obstetrical exams? I do. Just the thought of a man checking my cervix or doing a pap smear makes me very uncomfortable, tense, etc. I am uncomfortable enough having a woman doing them.

The reason I ask- I've been following some of the blogs on this topic. Some male clinicians contend that refusal to allow a male to examine you constitutes discrimination. I didn't think so. Matter of fact- I didn't think anything about it. Its my body. I'm uncomfortable or terrified, so by golly, its only going to be women for me. But then I got to thinking.

Some folks, who are deeply prejudiced, might feel that same discomfort if a black person, Indian person, or Asian person needed to examine them. In that instance, we clearly deem it discrimination. We don't look at why the person feels the way they do, its just discrimination.

I don't question a man's clinical abilities or knowledge. I've know some brilliant male doctors who I was glad to call my doctor. I would just feel extremely uncomfortable if they were peering between my legs. Why? I've no idea. I know that all doctors contend that they don't look at anything other than for clinical/medical things. I understand that from an intelligent perspective. No problem. Its me we're talking about, though.

So does that make me prejudiced?

Hiking Wiped Me Out

2009-05-31T18:56:00.000-07:00

Went hiking Saturday. Was supposed to be a 10 mile hike down into a canyon, up again, around a circle and back. I think I only made it about 6 miles. Most of the way up the canyon, I had trouble breathing- my lungs felts like they were on fire- and I was sweating and tired. I figured I'd blown it by not eating enough breakfast. I told the hike leader I was heading back- I didn't feel well.

I made it back just fine. Was coughing periodically- coughing up phlem. When I got home, around 2 pm, I took a shower and collapsed. Drank an unbelievable amount of water the rest of the day, coughed periodically, chest hurt, and I slept a lot. Had all sorts of things I intended to do that day and Sunday, but none of them came to pass. I ordered pizza, which I ate, drank some more water, and slept. Coughed intermittantly. At bed time I used allergy meds, and was asleep by 9:30. Work up at 10:30 am on Sunday, ate and fell back asleep by 11:30 am. Woke up briefly at 2:30 then fell back asleep until 4 some-odd pm. Drank a lot more water. Felt completely warn out. And the hike yesterday wasn't that difficult!

Now its 8 pm. I ate dinner, took the dogs to the park, and did a Home Depot run. I'll go back to sleep soon. Here are my thoughts about what happened Saturday:

1. I got overheated and dehydrated. The dogs did fine, but my excessive need for water today and yesterday suggests this.

2. Maybe I'm getting sick. I doubt it, but will see over the next couple of days.

3. I was stupid in not eating breakfast and not eating enough dinner Friday night. When training, you have to eat. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

4. I'm wondering if I have exercise-induced asthma. I had asthma as a child and teenager, but into early adult hood it seemed to disappear. When I was 35, I went through the methacholine challenege which came back 100% negative. Yeah! I do seem to have some vocal cord dysfunction which pops up any time I have nasal symptoms- allergies, a cold, crying (like when Peanut died), and the like. Most of this is kept at bay through the use of Flonaise, Zyrtec, and the occassional Benadyrl. I can usually feel my throat tightening when its VCD. Yesterday my throat did not feel like it was involved at all. My chest burned and I was coughing up crud which was initiated by climbing some serious up-hill stuff. I was wishing today I had my inhaler. I am not wondering if it is possible to have exercise-induced asthma with a negative methacholine challenge. Go figure.

Oh well. Hopefully will feel better by next Friday so I can get out again. Want to do Saturday's hike again- probably just to prove it wasn't that bad. This time I'll eat a good dinner and breakfast beforehand.

Auditing

2009-05-26T20:43:00.001-07:00

Finally completed one of my audits Friday. Or that is to say, I finished the audit last year and the department finally completed their corrective actions Friday. Whew.

I work as an auditor in health care. Hmm. Ultimately I think people will figure out I live in Colorado when I describe my hikes. As a result, I will try to be very careful describing what I do. I would hate for people to think I am describing them.

Anyway, this audit was a compliance audit of one of the clinical departments. What is compliance, you ask? Compliance deals with all the little laws and regulations we are responsible for complying with in healthcare. In insurance, its laws and regulations pertaining to Claims, Member Services, Medicare, state law. On the clinical side, its laws pertaining to laboratories, radiology, pharmacy, credentialing, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, etc, etc.

Anyway, last year I undertook an audit of one department spread around multiple offices. It took me all year and considerable research, because I was not, at the time, familiar with the topic. You would think the Director of the department would know about all the laws he had to comply with, wouldn't you? Oh no.

I audited just over 30 different elements. For 18 of those elements, the department was out of compliance. There were 18 findings in my audit report. Each finding had between 1 and 7 corrective actions. A corrective action is just what it sounds like. What action is the person or department going to take to correct their errors/problems? The department finally got me their corrective action plan (CAPs) in March. May 22 was their target date for fixing everything. They did it, with some whining and complaining, on the dot. At 3:30 pm on May 22nd to be precise.

So its on to other things.

Pets

2009-05-26T20:37:00.001-07:00

So these are the pets. On the left is Denny- aka "Shithead". In the middle is Lucy. On the right is Peanut. Peanutty died last October.

A couple of years ago, a petsitter took pictures of my guys while I was on business. I still can't figure out how she got them all to behave and pose.

Lucy

2009-05-26T15:52:00.000-07:00

Had to redo the Lucy post- got some bad spam attached to the comments I couldn't figure out how to get rid of without deleting the whole post.

So I thought I should tell you about Lucy. I told you about Shithead, after all. Lucy is about 4 years old. She looks an awful lot like a fox. I hear that several times a day from various strangers.

Lucy and a pit-bull mix were abandoned in the back yard of a house in Peoria (a suburb of Phoenix), Arizona. When the people took off and abandoned their dogs, a neighbor took them in to join her three black labs, until she could find them homes. She told her friend, who told her friend, who happened to be my boss. Nasty, horrible, power hungry woman (my boss). She did tell me about Lucy, though. She sent me an email with the dogs' pictures and put me in contact with the woman who had her.I'd been idly looking for a dog for awhile, but none really peaked my interest. Peanut was getting very old and I couldn't really hike with her any more (Peanut died last October). Didn't want to take Denny alone because I thought he should stay home with Peanut. When the picture was sent to me, I thought Lucy looked a little like a husky, at least by the picture.

That night, I drove out to Peoria to meet the dogs. I know pit bulls and pit bull mixes can be absolutely wonderful dogs, but I was planning to change jobs and was prepared to move anywhere in the US. Many cities have outlawed pit bulls and pitbull mixes. As it turns out, where I ended up doesn't allow them either. Anyway, I met Lucy and the other dog. Lucy immediately laid down in my lap. Lady thought it was funny because usually Lucy wouldn't take to people. Oh, and her name was Jasmine, at the time. I agreed to take Jasmine and immediately named her Lucy. I apologized for not taking the other dog. The lady and I emailed a couple of times and I guess the pit bull mix puppy got into a fight with one of her dogs. The pit bull's jaw locked on her dog, and it took forever for her to get the two dogs apart. She put the pit bull mix into her garage while the two dogs cooled off. When they did, she let the dog inside. It immediately went for her dog again. At some point, I guess she got in touch with the previous owner's mother and the woman came and picked up the dog. So sad.

Anyway, back to Lucy. Everyone loves Lucy. I mean everyone. If I take her to the state park, she loves to play with other dogs. Loves it! She also loves to fetch balls in the water. When I take her to the dog park, its nothing but fetching balls. Lucy chooses who throws the ball for her. She'll go up to someone with the ball in her mouth and look at them. Then maybe she'll go look at someone else. If the person asks her if she wants them to throw the ball, or if they reach out to take the ball, Lucy will turn her head. When they retract their hand, she will turn back and look at them. This could continue multiple times. She may then go try someone else. In general, she won't choose you, if you want the ball. She'll tease you. She usually picks the person who is talking to someone, or watching their own dog, or talking on the phone. Sometimes she'll pick an original person, if I (or someone else) tell them they are better off to affect indifference. Then they turn their back, or look at the sky.

Anyway, Lucy picks her intended victim, and drops the ball right between their feet. They throw the ball and she brings it back. . . and drops it right between their feet. This could go on multiple times. She may then choose someone else. Occasionally, we'll have a group of say, 5 people, standing in a circle talking to each other. Lucy will be in the middle, going from person to person and evaluating each potential thrower. She picks her vicitim and they throw the ball for her over and over again. I've never figured out how she chooses people. She may generally prefer men, especially ones who have a long throw, but she is just as likely to choose women, old people, and little children. With the children, the ball doesn't even bounce. She catches it in the air and brings it back and puts it right between their feet. Lucy never chooses me, unless I am the only one available. My only function is to tell people the "rules of Lucy".She's a hoot.

I told you she looked like a fox. Well, the first year I was here, my neighbor told me he left for work one morning about 3:30. He said Lucy was out, so he stopped his car and tried to get her to get in the car. She didn't. She was asleep upstairs. It was a fox. Neighbor was glad the fox didn't get in the car.

Hiking yesterday

2009-05-25T19:25:00.000-07:00

So I'm losing weight- slowly. I started at about 200 lbs but have been kicking ass at the gym. Gym days are either 6 miles on the treadmill (kicked up to 12.5 elevation) for an hour and a half or a hour weight lifting + 3 miles on the treadmill for an hour and 45 minutes work-out. Boring, but productive.

I'm down to 185, but the scale is not really moving. Good news is that my percentage body fat is 24%, which suggests I'm developing muscle.

This weekend was marvelous. Saturday I went out with a group and did a 12.75 mile hike with the dogs. The elevation gain was about 1200. Sunday I more or less rested since I was sore. Today I did another 6 miles.

Knees are still sore. Both feel week and sore- especially on the down-hill, not so much on the up hill. Left knee has a bulge on the anterior part of the knee, just above the knee cap. Fairly good swelling when compared to other knee, but its largely above the patella, instead of around the patella. Discomfort with flexion of the knee. Feels like its stretching the muscles. It does feel better with an ace bandage.

This is the knee that I've disclocated the knew cap on, twice- once in 1993 and once in 1996, or therabouts. Sigh. I may have to lift upperbody tomorrow and avoid the treadmill.

Anyway, life rolls on. Hope your Memorial Day weekend was pleasant.

Knowing

2009-04-19T20:47:00.000-07:00

Saw Knowing last weekend. What an incredibly disturbing movie. Nicholas Gage plays a professor of astronomy- I think. His son's school pulls open a time capsule their school had burried 50 years before. In the capsule was a piece of paper with a series of numbers written by a child 50 years ago. The numbers apparently predict major catastrophes that happened in the child's future. If you want to see the movie, stop reading now.*

The child predicts the end of the world. The world ends with solar flares from the sun that completely burn up everything. Everything. That's what was so disturbing. If I die, I die. I don't take much from the Earth or people. I haven't contributed much, so no one will particularly miss me when I'm gone.

This movie, though, predicted the end of everything. There would be no one left to miss anyone of the people who died. More than that, think of everything that would be lost. Art- Shakespear, Hawthorn, Picasso, Matisse; antiquities- Greek, Roman, English, Anazasi; Science- space, medicine, DNA, electronics . . . Everything that mankind has achieved over thousands of years- poof- gone. No one to remember. No one to regret. No one to grieve. Everything. All gone. No people. No animals. Nothing.

Very disturbing.

Fitness, health

2009-04-05T15:43:00.000-07:00

I'm 39 years old. I've been an athlete since I was, oh 25 or so. I was a swimmer from age 7 to 17. Then I was a hiker, climber, cycler, weight lifter. Then I met my husband- my ex-husband.

When I met my husband, I thought he looked like a Greek Adonis. In shape, darks, curly haired- gorgeous. We dated for 5 years and were maried for 4 years. He was a executive chef, which means he cooked- too well. Do you have any idea how much butter fettucine alfredo contains? He also loved processed food- chips, cookies, desserts, rice dishes, pasta dishes, etc, etc. He was also an alcoholic. A functioning alcoholic, but an alcoholic none the less.

During the time I was with ex-husband, he ballooned to about 350 pounds. He wasn't yet 40 and he developed high blood pressure, high cholesterold, and type II diabetes. He had a family history on both sides of heart disease and alcoholism. His father died of pacreatitis and a fatty liver. His mother, who was also a drunk, swore his father's condition was due to a virus he picked up in Mexico. I don't think so. I think his alcoholism caught up with him. Several months before he died, his doctor recommended he quit drinking, a recommendation he ignored.

None of this deterred ex-husband. He continued to take lots of meds, 6 or more daily advils, and lots of alchol. I divorced him. After I filed for divorce, he told me he was bipolar- a fact that might explain the high credit card bills, the gambling debt, and the cars we couldn't afford. Wouldn't it be nice if he would have told me about this before we were married?

Anyway, I'll tell you about what happened when I filed for divorce at a later date. This post is about what happened to me when I me ex-husband. I gained 50 pounds. During our dating and marriage, I still occassionally went to the gym, went hiking, etc, but it became more and more difficult when my spouse wasn't interested.

I love exercise. I love that high you get from working hard and beating your previous record. Its a little difficult to get back into it, though, after you take a 10 year hiatus.

I'm working on it. And its going fairly well. Starting in about November, 2008, I've been hitting the gym hard. I've only lost about 10 pounds, but I've increased by endurance. Right now I spent an hour and 20 minutes and 2 hours at the gym each day.

Every other day, I do the treadmill on elevations from 4.5 to 12.5 at a speed of 3.5. My last mile, I try to run- every other minute at 5.0. I do between 5 and 6 miles.

The other every other days, I do weight training- either arms or legs. After an hour of weight lifting, I do 3 miles on the treadmill.

I started at about 200 pounds, and 5'9". I'm at 190 now. For awhile I was at 185, but then I visited my great, great aunt in California for 4 days and ate a lot. Wish I would lose the weight quicker.

The goal is to be in good enough shape by summer so that I can summit 14ers and not get my ass kicked.

Word of advice- NEVER, NEVER, take a break in exercise. It should stay a part of your life.

Payback's a bitch

2009-04-05T15:39:00.001-07:00

Payback's a bitch.

I got a gym, almost everyday. About a year ago, I had a run-in with one of the receptionists at my gym. It was evening and I stopped to ask her a question. She didn't bother to look up from her computer as she answered me, and I'm afraid I took it badly. When I got home, I called the club manager and complained- rather snarkily I will agree.

I see her many nights now. She still never looks up from her computer and I can't help thinking it was because I complained about her. On the other hand, maybe that's just he way.

Anyway, I acted badly. I feel badly about it. Payback's a bitch.

He's harmless. He has no teeth.

2009-02-03T19:15:00.000-08:00

So, I have two dogs. I used to have three. I got divorced in 2004 and married in 2000. When I was married, I had a small dog that was a Jack Russell-Beagle mix, I think. Her name was Peanut and I got her from my sister about 8 years prior to my marriage. When I was married, my husband expressed a desire to get a dog, so he could have his own dog- seeing as how mine was mostly loyal to me.

As a example of the loyalty issue- we used to live behind a high school. There was a gate at the back of the high school that the students would use to go to school. We used the gates on weekends when we would take the dogs to the school on weekends, take them off leash, and let them run through the sport fields. One day, Husband, took the dogs to the school. After he had taken their leashes off, Peanut made off for home. He was running behind her, yelling at her to stop, but she was determined to go home. Needless to say, he was pissed. Dog would not listen to him at all.

Anyway, I digress. Husband wanted a dog who would love him and listen to him. We went to a local shelter and found Denny. Only his name was Wally at the time. He was a small 16 lb, shaved dog, listed as a 1 yr old Yorkiepoo. I think he probably has some Lhaso Apso or Bichon in him as well. After we had him for awhile, we decided Wally didn't really suit him, and renamed him Denny- after Dennis the Menace.

Denny was a bad puppy. He was also a biter. He bit my mom, Husband's friend, Husband occassionally, and me most of all- usually when I was trying to do something he didn't want like brushing him, bathing him, trying to get him to stop barking, etc. While I usually disciplined him when it happened, Husband either thought it was cute and funny, or wondered what I did to make the dog upset.

So this dog was supposed to be Husband's dog. Guess who fed him, bathed him, brushed him, walked him, took him the vet, etc? Yep. Me. When we divorced, husband decided I should take "his" dog because it would be better for Denny. Probably Ex-Husband didn't want to deal with him. Oddly enough, I kind of liked the little Shithead at that time, so he was really all I wanted from the marriage- from an emotional perspective.

Oddly enough, Denny hasn't bitten any one since the divorce. I think in retrospect, he got mixed messages. I also think lowering my voice helped. While he listened to my dad and Ex-Husband when they grumped at him, he didn't listed to me much. When women get upset, and yell, their voices tend to get higher pitched. When I started deliberately lowering my voice, the little Shithead listened to me more.

Denny, aka Shithead, has had periodontal disease since he was 1 or 2 years old. He's gotten pet store brand dry dog food, greenies, rawhide, jerkey, milkbones, toys etc. just like the other dogs, but it seems to make no difference. When he was a puppy, his gums would bleed when he played with his toys and when he chewed his bones. Every year, I would take him to the vet so they could put him to sleep and clean his teeth. Every year this resulted in teeth being pulled. He would also lose some on his own. I tried to clean his teeth with a toothbrush for a few years, but he hated it so much, and tried to bite me so much, it ended up in a battle of wills that neither of us enjoyed.

Anyway, Denny has about 5 teeth left. One on top and bottom of each side, and one canine. Took him to the vet for shots on Saturday and vet observed that several were bad. So tomorrow, I take him in. Odds are, the rest will have to be removed. I asked the vet to go ahead and remove them all, if leaving one or two will serve no purpose- only one on one side, or something.

Denny also has an attitude problem. I think its fairly common with little dogs kind of the Napoleon Syndrome. When we go to the dog park or hike, he growls at all the other dogs. Unless he's growled at them before. He doesn't attack them- he just cusses at them. He especially enjoys doing it to the Rottie, Lab, German Shephard, and Great Dane gangly puppies. Such joy he has! Most of the dogs don't take him to seriously, and some actually want to play. He's not sure what to do when they do that. I've gotten quite accustomed to telling people, "He's harmless. He has no teeth." They laugh.

Kind of karmic. Don't you think?

Cancer

2009-02-01T10:05:00.000-08:00

A Friend has cancer. A neat lady, I met her at work. She is not terribly active, except for the few times when she decides to pack up her bicycle and take it to a different country. This year she spent about 14 days cycling through Chili with a group. Chuckle. She's also funny, outgoing, practical, and caring. Nice lady, Friend is.

Friend has cancer. Skin cancer. Got it about 10 years ago, went through chemo and went into remission. Rumor has it that's why her hair is now down past her butt. In mid-2008, the cancer came back. She went for surgery and they got what they could. She was then send to a hot-shot radiation oncologist who put her through 6 weeks of daily radiation. Apparantly, the radiation not only didn't shrink the remaining tumors, but they got bigger. She is now going in for surgery again on Friday. They will go up under her scapula as well as up through her neck. She runs the risk of losing sensation and some function in her face, arm, and shoulder. Needless to say, Friend is scared to death and completely pissed off. Pissed off at her fate, so to speak.

If you pray, pray for Friend. If you believe in something else, have good thoughts. For some reason, I have no doubt she will live (she's not so sure on this score), but I hope she will live with limbs intact and able to do everything she enjoys.

Pillows and friendship

2009-01-30T20:52:00.000-08:00

I have a friend in my neighborhood who is sweet as can be. Terribly sweet. Always volunteers to help people, even when she finds herself overwhelmed. I moved here two years ago. Shortly after I met her, Neighbor gave me a tour of her house, including her packed-to-the-rafters sewing room. Asked Neighbor if she could make pillows. Oh, yes, she told me. She’s made lots of pillows. They’re very easy. Told her I’d bought fabric to recover my dining room chairs and wanted to make 2 pillows for the living room out of the same fabric. Neighbor told me she was working on a couple of other projects, but then could get to my pillows, no problem. I told her what the going rate was for making pillows at the fabric store, but she vehemently refused money. Wouldn’t hear of it, she said.

During the next two years, I got to know her better, and heard a story that I think explained why she didn’t want to be paid. Seems my next door neighbor (Neighbor2) lived across the street from Neighbor. Neighbor2 and husband weren’t very handy around the house, but both had jobs. Neighbor2 asked Neighbor and her husband to take care of their yard one summer- sprinkler repair, mowing, weed eating, etc. Neighbor2 said she would pay Neighbor and her husband for this work- x amount per month. Gladly Neighbor and her husband did this. They were never paid. Month after month went by and they weren’t paid. They finished the summer of yard work, though, because they said they would. Not being paid didn’t bother them half so much as the way they were treated, Neighbor said. Since they were working for Neighbor2, ostensibly for pay, Neighbor2’s attitude toward them changed. She was rude and imperious, treating them more like servants or slaves than friends and neighbors who had known each other for years. Really, really disturbed Neighbor.

So Neighbor tells me she definitely doesn’t want to accept money from me. Doesn’t want it to change our relationship. She will accept gift cards, however. Interesting, yes? Whatever. Neighbor really could use the money, and I would pay through the nose to have them professionally made, so I really don’t mind paying her. If she prefers gift cards, though, I can certainly get her some for Target or Walmart, or Safeway, or Denny’s, which she should be able to use for much the same purpose. We can even call it a thank-you gift.

About a year ago, when I saw Neighbor, I told her I had bought the pillow forms for my pillows. Again Neighbor told me she had to accomplish A and B and then could work on my pillows.

Sigh.

So, 2 years after I bought the fabric, my pillows still aren’t done and show no signs of being done. I would like to find someone else to do them, but am worried that when Neighbor finds out, she will be upset that (a) she let me down by not doing them, or (b) I went elsewhere when she said she would do them. Co-worker tells me I worry too much about what people think. Neighbor is my friend, however, and shouldn’t we always worry about how our friends feel?

Weight lifting difficult for some

2009-01-30T07:17:00.000-08:00

I was at the gym a few months ago when I had an undecisive moment. I've been going pretty religiously for the last 2 months, trying to whip myself into shape for summer. Every other day, I do abs and cardio. The other every-other-days, I do 2 miles of cardio, followed by an hour or more of weight lifting. It was on one of the weight lifting days, when my issue of conscience occured.

I was resting between sets, in that pleasant calm that occampanies weight lifting. Across from me, there was a man with some physical impairments. I wondered if he was recovering from a stroke. He limped, listed a little to one side, and his right arm, which looked fully developed, was contracted to his chest. He was attempting to do the lateral pulldown, an exercise where you sit and reach overhead to a bar. You pull the bar down to your chest and exercise the latissimus dorsi and biceps. The start of the exercise entails standing, reaching overhead to grab the bar, and then sitting to begin the pull down.

Because of the contracted position of his arm, the man was unable to grab the bar to begin the exercise. He would grab it with his good arm, causing the other side of the bar to swing up out of reach. Usually you grab both sides of the bar at the same time. Because his right arm was unable to straighten, he was unable to grab the bar with that arm. After a few tries, he gave up and moved onto another exercise.

So here's my quandry- should I have offered to spot him? In our current society, there seems to be almost a compulsion to not get involved. You worry about offending a person by drawing attention to his problem. At the same time, the man looked like he could have executed the exercise, had he been able to grab the bar properly and sit down. I just don't know. Would you offer to help him, in my situation?

Last night I had a slight chance for a do-over. The man was back, and looked like he had made some progress since last I saw him. I was once again seated, waiting between reps. The man was next to me, wanting to remove a piece from a machine. Again, he was unable to reach both arms overhead and so was unable to hold/remove the tool, at the same time he had to depress the caribiner to release it. I asked him if I could help. He asked that I depress the caribiner while he removed the tool. I did so, he thanked me, and moved onto his next exercise.

Fairly painless for both of us, I think.

Raining

2008-08-16T10:05:00.000-07:00

Its raining today. Its been raining since night before last. Lucy's getting edgey. She definitely wants to go for a walk. But its raining and anywhere we'd go would be muddy. :( Ah well.

Lost Jack Russell

2008-08-13T20:18:00.001-07:00

I take my dogs for a walk at Cherry Creek State Park sometimes. CCSP has about 12 miles of what they call open-use area. Most people follow a dirt road that goes in a circle for about a mile through the middle of the open use area. It was on this circle that I first saw a little Jack Russell terrier.

The first time I saw her, I thought she was with one group of people, but she kept going. The next time I was conciously aware of her, she was running around in the parking lot, then she ran back down the trail past me. The 3rd and 4th times she passed me, I tried to catch her, but she had a one track mind. I got the impression that was the path her and her people always walked and by golly she would find them.

I lost her, though. Last time I saw her was from a distance and she was running in the parking lot. She never passed me going back into the park, of that I'm certain.

By the time I got to the parking lot, she was gone. I'm hoping her family found her and took her home.

Uneasy Friendships

2008-08-12T18:37:00.000-07:00

I have this friend. Well, she's probably not a friend anymore.

I met her about a year ago, at the dog park, with her blue tick hound. She'd just broken up with her live-in boyfriend and was living alone and on a hard search for a husband. At 38, she'd suddenly decided she needed to get married so she could have children. As a result, she approached husband-finding with the same single-minded purpose one would use in a job search or search for a new sofa. She joined about 10 different single sights and was dating everyone who seemed possible. If a man with good potential suddenly stopped calling, she would become very unhappy and agonize about why-why-why? But that was our only difference.

In spite of traveling all over the globe, she was incapable of taking care of things in her own house. So I was adopted as her honey-do. To be honest, in the beginning I really didn't mind and was somewhat flattered, but . . . . First it was her deck. Did I have a drill? She had several screws and boards popping up. Could I come screw them down? I did so. Twice.

Then there was the fireplace. She had a gas fireplace that her ex had turned off. She couldn't figure out how to turn it back on. So I did that.

Then it was her vacuum cleaner. It was clogged or something and she couldn't get it to work. Would I come take a look at it? I never actually did that though, because she got sick and then other things came up.

The thing that tipped the scale was when she emailed and asked if "Don't Mess with the Zohan" was still playing at the cheap movie theatre. I told her it was. A few days later, I asked if she wanted to go on Friday. She said "sure"!

On Thursday, we were both at the dog park and I reminded her about Friday. Told her when the movie started and when we should probably be there. She said, "oh, are we still going?"

The next morning, she emailed and told me that her dryer still wasn't working and she figured since we were going to the movie anyway, it would be no big deal if she put a load of laundry in my dryer.

I don't know why, but this irritated me. Maybe because she assumed I wouldn't mind. Maybe because she showed no interest in the movie until she figured out how she could benefit by it. Maybe because I was tired of listening to her when we were complete opposites. I don't really know, but I haven't talked to her since.